


After Midnight

by JillMarie



Category: CW Network RPF, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Assassins & Hitmen, Childhood Friends, First Love, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, High School, J-Squared, J2 AU, M/M, Oblivious Jared, Pining Jensen, Reunions, Teen Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-10
Updated: 2013-10-26
Packaged: 2017-12-28 00:34:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 23,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/985514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JillMarie/pseuds/JillMarie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared and Jensen had been best friends forever and knew each other better than they knew themselves. They just need to get their timing right. Lots of angst before the fluff.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Noturbaby](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Noturbaby/gifts).



> Disclaimer: This is just a fluffy au. No harm or disparagement is intended. I'm just casting these beautiful people in my written fantasy. 
> 
> Jared and Jensen are the same age in this fiction and Jensen is an only child of awful parents. No Ackles or Padaleckis were hurt in the writing of this.

* * *

In July of 1994, Jared Padalecki fell in love with Jensen Ackles. They were only nine years old, and wouldn't call it love for several more years, but on that day, Jared knew he wanted to be with Jensen forever. They were hiding from Jared's brother Jeff after soaking him with water balloons, when Jeff surprised them. He shoved Jensen to the ground, tackled Jared and began to pummel him. Suddenly, Jensen dragged Jeff off his brother and growled, “Leave Jared alone.”

“Make me,” Jeff snarled as he rose to his full height.

Jensen squared his shoulders and narrowed his eyes as he looked up at him. “Leave Jared alone or I'll tell your mom that you and Brad Wexler stole beer from my dad's garage.”

“I never stole beer from your old man.”

Jensen slapped at the fading bruise on his cheek until it reddened. Then he sneered, “Yeah, well who's she gonna believe? Me or you?” Jensen was fighting dirty. He knew the Padaleckis were aware his parents slapped him around; it was most likely the reason they allowed Jared to invite him over on a daily basis. Taking advantage of that knowledge was low, but effective.

“Fine,” Jeff scowled, “you win. Watch yourself, twerp.” With a final shove at Jared, he walked away. 

“Wow, Jensen, that was awesome,” Jared said once Jeff was gone.

Jensen blushed slightly and rolled his eyes. “Come on, Jared. Let's see if we can sleep in the tree house tonight. That way Jeff won't be able to get you back tonight.”

Jared slung his arm around Jensen's shoulder. “I wish you were my brother instead of Jeff the butt-face. That would be the best ever. You'd never have to go home and Jeff wouldn't exist.”

"Yeah, me too." 

When Jensen asked his mother if he could spend the night at Jared's, she snorted and took a large swallow of her cocktail. "You know they only want you around because they pity you. You're the dirty little poor kid that makes them feel better about themselves." 

Pretending not to hear the venom she spat, Jensen's jaw clenched and he remained silent.  

"Fine. Go. Just remember, you're nothing more than charity to them." She crouched down to get in his face. "That little boy will soon learn to have better friends than you." 

 

 

**Summer 2002**

Jared sat cross legged on the floor the tree house that he and Jensen, along with Jared's dad, had built it nearly ten years ago, and it was still his favorite place. Every inch held memories of some of his favorite moments in his life, and each of those moments featured Jensen. Which was why Jared chose the tree house as the location to open up to his best friend.

Jensen was currently laying on his back reading yet another college brochure. He wasn't going to college, but Jared didn't know that yet. He was putting off sharing that bit of news until Jared had applied somewhere, or maybe until Jared was accepted somewhere, in either case he wasn't going to stand in Jared's way. “Dude, this school looks lame. It's in New York and you know it's gonna snow like a son of a bitch up there.”

Jared nodded as Jensen tossed the leaflet aside. “Hey, um, Jensen? Can I tell you something?”

Jensen rolled over and grabbed another booklet. “What is it? Did you find a school?”

“No, not yet. This has nothing to do with all that college crap.”

The nerves in Jared's voice made Jensen put the book down and sit up. “Jare, what is it?”

“I, uh, I think I'm gay.”

Jensen scoffed and lay back down. “No shit, dude, tell me something I don't know.”

Irritated that his friend wasn't taking him seriously, Jared's voice became stern. “Jensen, I'm not joking. – I'm gay.”

Jensen continued to page through Marquette's catalog. “I know. I've seen your iPod. With how much Timberlake and Britney Spears you have, if you're not gay, your iPod. definitely is.”

“Damn it, Jensen. I'm being serious.”

“Me, too. A person's choice in music says a lot about them. And yours says _'I might be gay'_.”

Annoyed and more than a little hurt, Jared got up. “Fuck you, Jensen. I thought my best friend would at least try to listen and take me seriously.” With that, Jared jumped from the tree house and hurried into his house letting the screen door slam behind him.

“Aw shit,” Jensen sighed. He got up, straightened up the tree house and gathered his thoughts. He had to make things right or die trying.

 

Jared paced his room as he fumed. How could he do that? How could Jensen joke about this when he was baring his soul to him and they were supposed to be best friends?

A minute later there was a knock on his bedroom door. “Go away.”

“Not 'til you let me apologize for being an insensitive asshole.”

Jared nearly smiled at that. At least Jensen was assuming fault. 

“Jared, come on, man. Let me in.” Jensen rested his head against the door. “If you wanna beat the crap out of me, you have to open the door first.”

“Fine, come in,” Jared mumbled and collapsed onto his bed.

Jensen quietly shut the door behind him and dragged the desk chair over to Jared's bed. “Jared, I'm sorry, man. I was a douche bag back there and you deserve better.” Jared rolled over and met his eyes, which Jensen took as his cue to continue. “But, truth is, for a while now, I kinda thought you might be gay.”

Jared gaped and sat up.

“I don't care. I didn't care. I --” Jensen paused. “Look, remember when we started eighth grade? We had three new teachers? Everybody was going on about hot Ms. Harmen, but not you. You couldn't stop talking about Coach Skarsgard.”

“That was eighth grade, Jensen! I didn't know in eighth grade! How could you know?”Jared demanded

“Dude, you're my best friend, and you're like the most important person in my life.” Jensen tried to force Jared to look into his eyes and see the truth in what he was saying.“Hey, I wasn't going to ask you or hassle you about it. I figured you'd tell me when you wanted to, if I was right.”

They each sat back in acceptance.

“You've got to know that _nothing_ would ever make me stop being your friend,” Jensen insisted. “You know that right?” He gently pushed Jared's arm and his friend nodded. “So, did you tell your parents?”

“No. It's not like I'm afraid of what they'll do, but I don't wanna have that 'talk' with them.” 

Jensen nodded and they were both quiet for a minute. “Well, are, are you seeing someone? I-is that why you wanted to tell me?”

“What? No!”

“Oh.” Jensen pressed his lips together and rubbed the back of his neck. “Do – do you like someone? Or, um, do you wanna date someone?”

Jared smiled to himself. This was the Jensen he had been expecting when he admitted to being gay. This awkward, stuttering guy who was both adorable and uncertain. Jared wanted to tell Jensen that there was only one guy he'd ever be interested in, but he wasn't about to scare his best friend off by confessing to his massive crush on him. “Do I wanna date someone? Yeah, eventually. But, no, there's no one right now.”

“Oh, good.”

“Good?”

“Well, yeah, because if there was, then I'd be even more of a shitty friend for not noticing.”

“Don't worry. You're my best friend. If there ever is someone, you'll be the first to know.”

Jensen smiled at him and spun the chair back to the desk. Seeing even more college paperwork on Jared's desk, made him feel guilty. “So, uh, listen,” he turned back to the bed, “since this appears to be 'confess stupid stuff day', I should tell you I'm not going to college.”

Jared sprung up. “What? Are you serious? Since when? When did you decide this?”

Jensen chewed his lip and shrugged. “I don't know. But there's no way I can afford college.”

“So? You'll get a scholarship. You've got the grades for it. And maybe with a loan --”

“No. Jared, you know that's not going to happen.”

Jensen's disappointed expression was enough to tell Jared not to push the subject, but he had to ask, “Then why have we been wasting all this time filling out applications and reading the brochures?”

Jensen's brows scrunched in thought. “I don't know. Your mom made us?” he suggested. “You know I hate it when she's mad at me.”

Jared scoffed. “Come on, she loves you more than her own kids.”

“Shut up.”

Jared laughed. “So, if you're not going to college, what are you going to do? You're not going to work at the Work Bench forever.”

Jensen bowed his head and pushed the chair backward. He could feel Jared's expectant stare and became more nervous. “I, uh, well, I enlisted.”

“You what!?”

“I joined the --”

“I freaking know what enlisted means, dumbass! It means you're going to get yourself killed!”

“No I'm not.”

“Yeah, you are. There's a war on and you'll be wearing a uniform that tells people 'hey, shoot at me. I'm an American.' Jesus, Jensen, what the hell were you thinking?!”

“I was thinking my best friend is going to be gone and I _have_ to get away from my parents. My dad's getting worse and my mom's a mess. I can't be here anymore.”

Sympathy and understanding overshadowed Jared's concern.

“Don't be mad, Jare,” he pleaded, knowing it sounded childish.

“I'm not mad. I'm scared. If something happens to you --”

“Nothing's going to happen.” 

“Better not. “Cause I will kick your ass if it does.”

Jensen smirked. “You're going to kick _my_ ass?”

“Yep.”

“You. You're going to kick my ass, my dead ass. How are you going to do that?”

“I will hunt you down in the afterlife if I have to.” Jared was failing at keeping a straight face while he scolded. “Sure, I'll be like ninety something and all wrinkly and bald, but I will kick your ass for dying on me. That's what best friends do.”

Jensen breathed a sigh of relief. “So, we're good, right?”

“Yeah, we're good.”

 

 

Jared was grateful that Jensen didn't treat him differently. He continued to hang out with Jared every chance he had. When school started, the only time they were apart was when they were in different classes or when they were working. 

“Heard you on the radio, man. Someday, you are going to run that place,” Jensen said one early Saturday evening while they watched tv.

“No you didn't. I wasn't on the air, you dork.”

Jensen cocked a brow at his friend's denial and used his fingers to tick off bands. “From 2 to 3 o'clock, Fall Out Boy, Panic, Franz, My Chem -”

Blushing, Jared grabbed his hands to stop him. “Okay, okay, yeah, he let me pick the music for a while.”

“Which is why, for that hour, the music didn't suck.”

“Glad you liked it.” Jared ducked his head to hide his smile. Jensen's opinion of music mattered the most to him. Ever since they were young, Jensen had opened his eyes to music beyond the mainstream. It meant everything to have Jensen say his choices were good.

 

 

After a few weeks, Jensen wasn't sure what was happening between them. They were rarely apart, but that wasn't much different from how they spent their entire lives. Jared hadn't shared any feelings for him, but he hadn't told Jared anything either. Their friends assumed that they were together, whether dating or just not seeing anyone else, they didn't know. What everyone did know was that if Jensen was around Jared was sure to be nearby.

 

One Saturday Jensen had enough of the uncertainty and called Jared. “Hey, you wanna go out tonight? Maybe get some dinner and catch a movie? That Will Ferrell movie is playing at the Grand.”

Jared couldn't help his smile. If he didn't know better, he'd think Jensen was asking him out on an actual date. The thought made his voice catch in his throat when he replied, “Yeah, sounds good.”

Jensen let relief wash over him. “Cool. I'm off work at five so I'll pick you up at six.”

 

Any nerves Jensen had been feeling before picking up Jared evaporated over dinner. There was no awkwardness. Jared was joking like he always did and the conversation never suffered from uncomfortable silences. 

The movie was a different story. _Elf_ turned out to be more of a romantic comedy than raunchy humor, but it had enough laughs to make up for it. 

Jensen thought that this was one of the best dates he'd been on in the past year when he parked in front of Jared's house. However, that's when things became painfully awkward. With any other date, this would be when he'd be getting a kiss good night; maybe even more, if he was lucky. 

Usually, when he hung out with Jared, he'd park and they would go in together and play video games or watch you tube videos. But tonight, should he try to kiss Jared? Should he walk him to the door? 

For his part, Jared was just as uncomfortable. He desperately wanted this night to be an actual date but how could he find out without looking like a complete fool? Jensen was sure to laugh at him and he'd die of embarrassment. Nervously, he rubbed his hands on his thighs and glanced at Jensen. His friend seemed to be just as nervous, which oddly comforted Jared and he began to giggle. When Jensen gave him a curious look, Jared began to laugh harder. 

“What's so funny?” Jensen asked, wondering at the way his stomach was twisting. _Please don't be laughing at me_.

“We are,” Jared answered once his laughing had settle. “Why are we being so weird? You wanna go play Halo or something?”

“I'm not weird. You're weird.” Jensen climbed out of the car. “Time for me to school your ass.”

And just like that, the date turned into two best friends just hanging out. Neither Jared nor Jensen were happy with that development, but neither knew how to tell the other that they wanted more.

 

Soon it became apparent that every Saturday was a Jared and Jensen 'date' night. They'd go to movies or bowling or even play laser tag. They'd start each 'date' hoping it would end with them being more than friends, but neither was confident enough to make that move.

 

The day after Christmas, Jensen heard his dad cough, a loud, wet, raspy cough. He was getting worse and the more his dad denied it, the more depressed his mother became, the more depressed she became, the more she drank. It was downward spiral that had been drowning his family for years. It made Jensen look at the calendar. Sixty four days until his eighteenth birthday. He made a set of numbers to hang on his wall to countdown to the day. He knows nothing was really going to happen that day, his family would not throw him a party and there wouldn't be any cake, but the count down gave him something to look forward to. 

Jensen always saw birthdays as a new beginning, a fresh start, a new year. An idea struck him and he called Jared instantly. “What are you doing for New Year's?”

“Nothing,” Jared yawned. “You're working, right?”

“Yeah, but-”

“Yeah, I thought so. Chad's going to Wentz's party with Sophia. My parents are going to some big deal downtown and Megan is gong to a sleepover so I guess it's just me and my porn collection.”

Jensen cracked up. “Dude, no. That's just pathetic. Come to Pete's party with me. You can get there whenever, get your drink on and I'll show up after work. I'll be there by 10:30 at the latest.”

“I don't know, man. Pete's parties can get a little out of hand.” _Not to mention everyone pairs off and hooks up and I can't handle watching you make out with some girl at midnight._

“Come on, Jare, please,” he begged. “Go to the party. I promise I'll be the dd, okay? You can drink and I'll take care of you. I promise.”

Jared sighed in resignation, like he could deny that pleading voice. “Fine, yeah, I'll go.” _I'll get blinding drunk so I don't have to see midnight._

“Awesome.” Jensen smiled. _And when I kiss you at midnight, you'll know I want to be more than friends._


	2. Chapter 2

 

**New Year's Eve**

11:40pm and still no sign of Jared. Jensen made the rounds of the party one more time but Jared was nowhere to be seen.  _Jared had better be laying in a ditch and dying,_ Jensen thought only to instantly regret it _. Don't be dying. Just have the world's best excuse._  He grabbed a bottle of sparkling wine and left the party.

 

He slowly drove to Jared's house, half hoping to find him in a ditch, mostly hoping to find him sick and dying at home. The house was dark, but Jensen walked around to the back and recognized the blue glow from the television. He peered through the window and saw Jared lounging on the couch with a huge bowl of snacks next to him.

Relief and anger tore at him. Great, Jared was fine, but then why didn't he go to Pete's?

The Padaleckis had never treated him like a guest, but Jensen wasn't sure if he should just walk in the door. If he knocked and Jared didn't answer, what would that mean? He took a breath to steady his nerves and turned the knob.

Quietly, he set the bottle down as he entered the family room. “Hey.”

“Jensen!” Jared bolted upright. “Holy shit dude, you scared me. What are you doing here?”

Jensen stared at him, unsure how to begin. “Lookin' for you. Why weren't you at Pete's?”

Jared shrugged and turned to the t.v. “Why aren't you there?”

“I was. I told you I had to work, but that I'd be there after. I got there at 10:30. I spent an hour looking for you.”

Jared glanced at him wondering why he sounded angry. “Pete's parties always turn into a couple thing, I really didn't want to be 'that guy'.”

Jensen sighed. He had no idea what Jared meant and he was beyond frustrated.

Hoping to snap Jensen out of his mood, Jared patted the seat next to him and teased playfully making a kissy face, “Aw, come on, Jensen. Come sit by me and we'll watch the ball drop and I'll even let you kiss me at midnight.”

Jensen didn't see anything playful in Jared's taunt. Instead, his vision turned red and something snapped. “What the fuck, Jared?”

“What?”

“You're mocking me? I mean, I get the 'friends' thing, that's fucking crystal. I don't even know why I thought otherwise, but a  _friend_  wouldn't mock me. Fuck you. I don't need this. Not from you.” He grabbed his pilfered bottle and left.

“Jensen? What are you talking about?” Jared chased him to the door. “Come on, man, get in here.” Jensen didn't acknowledge him, he just got in his car and drove off leaving a bewildered Jared standing in his empty driveway.

 

Having no place else to go, Jensen went home. His father was passed out, wheezing in his easy chair. His mother had her bottle and her cigarettes in front of her. 

She took a look at him and smirked. “What are you doing home so early, Cinderella? Did the prince choose someone else and you turned into a pumpkin?” she cackled.

He ignored her and went to his room. He had been so stupid. Jared would rather be alone, watching shit tv, than be with him. His mom had been right. Apparently Jared thought doing nothing with no one was better than being with him.

His phone chirped, but he ignored it and shut it off. He opened the bottle he stole from Pete's and began to drink, hoping to forget the night.

He turned on his music to drown out the sounds of his parent's television or any other comments his mother might make. After another drink from the bottle, Jensen spilled out the rest. Drinking destroyed his parents, and he wasn't going to turn out like them.

The countdown to his birthday suddenly caught his eye. Only fifty nine days until he was eighteen. He checked his bank book and saw he nearly had enough savings to move out. But, he realized he didn't have a place to go. Returning the book to his desk, he saw his recruitment form and another solution began to take shape.

 

Jared tried calling, got voice mail. He tried texting, got ignored. His emails went unanswered. He decided seeing Jensen in person was the best idea only to have Mrs. Ackles tell him that Jensen wasn't home. Jared spent the rest of the winter break feeling queasy, like he knew he had failed a big test and was being left behind.

 

* * *

 

The Saturday before school restarted, Jared got a call from Chad. “Hey, did you and Jensen break up?”

“What? Break up? Chad, Jensen and I weren't going out.”

“Oh.” Chad paused for a minute. “Really?” he was quiet for another moment. “Well, that's good, 'cause Sasha Barres is all over your boy over here at Miller's house. You want me to go crack him upside his head.”

“No, Chad.” Jared laughed, he couldn't wrap his head around people thinking he and his best friend were dating. “Jensen can date whoever he wants.”

“Huh. You guys were never together? We thought you were,” he mumbled as he hung up.

Jared stared at his phone. His friends thought he and Jensen were together? Unbelievable. Jared chuckled and began to text Jensen only to delete it when he remembered Jensen was ignoring him and also obviously busy with a girl.

 

* * *

 

Once school started, it became obvious that Jensen was avoiding him. In every class they shared, Jensen was the last one in the door and the first one out. He took a seat near the door, until the third day when Jared caught on and started sitting there. He smirked at the annoyance on Jensen's face when he found Jared in his seat.

Somehow, despite Jared's best efforts, Jensen managed to avoid him the rest of the week. It wasn't easy. They had four classes together and lunch and Jared stalked Jensen's locker, but Jensen would slip away before Jared got close.

At lunch, Jensen sat with Sasha and let himself be surrounded by her friends. He had never ignored all his friends because of a girl before, so Jared assumed Sasha must be pretty important. But as he watched his friend, he noticed that Jensen looked bored. He wasn't paying attention to the conversation around him; he was picking as his food and staring blankly at the things before him. Occasionally he would nod, otherwise there was no interaction between him and the crowd around him.

 

 

Over the weekend, Jared heard that Sasha and Jensen broke up. Apparently he left her at a diner to find her own way home. When he tried to reach out to Jensen, Jared found he was still being ignored. Monday morning found him waiting at Jensen's locker, hoping that maybe his friend would need him to get over the break up.

 

There was a slight panicked look in Jensen's eyes when he saw Jared at his locker, but he drew a breath and mumbled, “Hey.”

Jared's relieved smile at that little word could have lit a third world country; Jensen was speaking to him again. “Hey, how are you? I heard you and Sasha broke up. You okay?”

Jensen shrugged. “I'm fine.” He ditched his coat, wrote the number 45 on his white board and grabbed the books he needed. All without looking at Jared. “I gotta get to class.”

“You sure you're okay? I mean if you need somebody to talk to...”

“M'fine Jared.” He began to walk to his class. “Don't really wanna talk --”

“Yeah, I noticed,” Jared answered, hurrying to catch up with him. “I know this isn't the best time, but since it's the only time you've acknowledged my existence recently, I want to apologize. I'm sorry for whatever it was that I did that got you so mad at me.”

Jensen nodded. “Whatever, Jare, I gotta go,” he said in a pained voice.

“Dammit Jensen, stop blowing me off.”

Jensen froze and in that moment Jared saw his best friend struggle to maintain composure. But, in an instant, it was gone and he had ducked into a classroom, leaving Jared alone in the bustling hallway.

In their next shared class, Jensen sat next to Jared causing hope to thrum through him. To their friends it seemed everything to returned to normal, but Jared knew it wasn't the same. Jensen never quite met his eye, instead, he kept his eyes downcast. His smile was so rare Jared thought he had forgotten what it looked like.

 

* * *

 

A few weeks later, Ben McKenzie stopped Jensen in the hall. “Hey, Jensen, what's going on with you and Jared?”

“What do you mean?”

“Are you guys going out? Are you just friends? I know you're not with Sasha anymore so...”

Jensen's chest tightened with uncertainty. “Nothing is going on with Jared. And yeah, me and Sasha broke up. What's with the twenty questions?”

Ben shrugged. “You've seemed miserable lately. I thought maybe something happened with Jared.”

“No, I've always been a miserable s.o.b.,” Jensen chuckled. They were almost at his locker and he knew, without looking, that Jared would be there. He put a hand on Ben's shoulder and turned to face him. “You know what you should do? You should ask Jared out.”

“What?” Ben was stunned. He had been about to ask out Jensen.

“Ask Jared out. You guys would be great together. You're both smart and you have the same sense of humor. Yeah, I'm serious, you should do it.” He put his arm around Ben's shoulder and continued on to his locker. He wasn't surprised to see that Jared looked annoyed with him. “Hey, Jare.”

“Hi Jensen, Ben.”

Jensen nudged Ben's arm. “Ben here wants to ask you something.” He nudged Ben again and mouthed, 'go on'.

Ben blushed and ducked his head. “Um, so, Jared, you wanna go out sometime?”

Jared had been so busy being jealous of Jensen and Ben, he nearly missed the question. He blinked in surprise at the nervous guy before him. “Uh, yeah, okay, sure.”

Ben beamed. “Great. Okay, I'll call you.”

“Yeah, okay, call me.”

He watched Ben walk away and turned to Jensen. “I was not expecting that.”

Jensen pressed his lips into a thin line and nodded. “Ben's a good guy. You guys'll have fun together.” He erased the number on his white board and grabbed his coat and tried to ignore the twinge of jealousy squeezing his heart.

 

 

With the addition of Ben to Jared's life, Jensen was able to dissolve into the background. His countdown was at single digits and he felt nearly invisible. Between classes, Ben and Jared were always together and lunch was the same. He no longer got the daily texts from Jared and as much as it hurt, he expected it would happen.

He knew Ben was a great guy; he'd have Jared's back if anyone tried to fuck with them for being gay. He didn't want to dwell on not being the one to watch out for Jared. Jensen reminded himself that he was going to lose Jared eventually, most definitely when Jared went off to college next fall, so losing him now shouldn't hurt so much. He still wanted to carve his heart out so he could handle seeing them together; and it didn't make him want Jared any less.

 

 

* * *

 

On February 28th, Jensen readied everything that he thought he was going to need and finally told his parents his plan. They were as uninterested in his future as they had been about his whole life, just confirming his choice to leave. There was only one last thing he wanted.

That night his countdown reached one, so he went to the tree house. He climbed the ladder that had once seemed so large though now his hands dwarfed the rungs. He closed the wooden shutters and switched on his small lantern. He couldn't stand without ducking down, but he didn't mind. He pulled out a blanket from a tote kept up there. It was small and smelled a bit, but it kept Jensen warm enough as he revisited every inch. He took his time and tried to call up as many memories as he could.

 

Jared couldn't help but smile as he came home from his date with Ben. Ice skating with hot chocolate after was romantic without being too over the top. The 'goodnight kiss' was nice. Jared thought they were getting better at it. It wasn't perfect. It didn't make him weak in the knees or a puddle of desire, but it was – nice.

He went to close the curtains on his bedroom window, when Jared swore he saw a light flicker in the tree house, but that would be impossible. Why would anyone be in the tree house? He looked again and sure enough there was a light but who would be in the tree house at this hour? There was only one possibility.

 

Jensen searched the tree house for a photograph he knew Jared had kept there. It was taken when the two of them were nine or ten. They had just returned from little league and were covered in dirt and dust. Their arms were around each others' shoulders and they both wore giant smiles. Jensen remembered how perfect that moment was, how happy he had been and he wasn't going to leave without the picture.

 

“Jensen?” He had been so lost in his memories he hadn't heard Jared climb the ladder. “What are you doing here?”

“I was looking for the picture from our little league championship.” He held up the framed picture for Jared to see before looking down at it with a fond smile. “Hey, remember that time your dad was helping us fix this place up and he smashed his thumb with the hammer, but he wouldn't swear in front of us kids so he said 'Mother Hubbard',” he replied with a laugh. Soon he was laughing so hard he had tears in his eyes.. “And then he kept making up words instead of cussing.”

Jared's face broke into a blinding grin at Jensen's laughter. “Yeah. I mean how could I forget 'guhrl turnip'?” he asked making Jensen nearly double over.

He wiped his eyes as he composed himself. “Oh god, your dad is something else. I don't get why he thought I'd never heard a swear before.”

Jared was reeling. Jensen was smiling and laughing like he hadn't in so long and it made Jared's heart race and clench at the same time. What had happened? Where had this Jensen been for the past couple of months? He hadn't seen him this happy since Christmas and now it was....March first. “Oh my god, it's your birthday,” Jared said quietly as the realization washed over him. “Holy shit, Jensen, it's your birthday! You're eighteen!”

Before he could respond, Jared tackled him in a hug. Jensen closed his eyes and allowed himself to hold on for a moment as he memorized the feeling of Jared all around him.

“Get off me, man.” He shoved weakly at Jared's shoulders.

“No. you're freezing. How long have you been out here?” Jared asked. He sat back, but he rubbed Jensen's arms to warm him.

Suddenly nervous for being with Jared, Jensen's voice was weak. “Not that long, but it's getting late. I should go.”

“No, wait, come inside. I have your birthday present.” _You have barely talked to me since New Year's, I'm not letting you go now._

“You shouldn't have gotten me anything. I mean we hardly--”

“Shut up, you're still my best friend even if you've barely spoken to me for months.” He regretted his words immediately as the light dimmed behind Jensen's eyes.

Guilt weighed down on him. Why did Jared have to catch him stealing that picture? He really could have done without the pain of this confrontation. “Jare, I'm sorry,” Jensen confessed quietly. “I overreacted.”

“It's okay, I'm sorry, too. Can you tell me why you got so angry with me?”

Jensen stayed quiet, unwilling to open that wound in front of Jared. He had already packed it away, buried deep inside with his other insecurities. He couldn't do this now, not when he was almost free.

Jared could see the struggle in his best friend and touched his arm, hoping to offer comfort or understanding or whatever was needed. “Jensen?”

It was the touch that broke him. “You stood me up. I know it shouldn't be that big of a deal, but at the time,” Jensen paused before admitting quietly, “it hurt that you'd rather do nothing than be with me.”

Jared studied his best friend. He truly did look hurt and it was enough to make Jared confess something. “If this is about New Year's I didn't go to Pete's because people always hook up at his parties and I didn't want to see you making out with someone like Sasha Barres.”

“Sasha?! I wasn't with Sasha. I didn't get with her until like a week later!”

“Oh believe me, I know exactly when you and Sasha got together. Chad called me.” Jared chuckled nervously. “He thought you were cheating on me. I guess everybody thought we were dating.”

Jensen brushed a hand through his hair and mumbled, “Not everybody, you didn't.”

“Jensen, we weren't dating.” Jared's response sounded as uncertain as he felt.

“No, I guess we weren't. I don't know what you thought we were doing but that's why I asked you to Pete's party. Like you said people hook up at his parties, so I thought, when I kissed you at midnight you'd finally figure out how I felt.”

As far as Jared was concerned, the air left the tree house and the universe had come to a halt. Jensen had wanted to date him? Jensen had wanted to kiss him? He attempted to gulp air as his brain screamed, _how did you fuck this up?_

“I guess that's why I go so angry. You rejected me and made fun of me... and I _know_ I deserved it after how I treated you and I _knew_ we were just friends, and that you don't like me like that, but I thought maybe, 'cause it was New Year's...whatever, it was stupid.”

Jared was processing every word and kicking himself for being so wrapped up in himself that he never noticed what was happening with Jensen. Finally Jared murmured, “I didn't know...You should have told me.”

“ _I_ should have...?” Jensen blinked in confusion and anger and in the next moment he gave in to his frustration. “You're right, I should have. But I did the asking and the waiting. I needed you to meet me half way.”

He looked down at the photo in his hand and his chest seized with guilt. He was ruining what little time with Jared he had and an apology began to tumble out. “I'm sorry. I'm a fuck up. Just forget any of this happened, okay? I'll, I'll see ya later,” he rambled, setting down the picture and pushing his way to the exit.

He didn't get far because Jared grabbed his arm. “Jensen, hold on. Please, give me a second here.” Jared dragged a hand through his hair. “I didn't know you – When I told you I was gay, you didn't say anything. Did you know then? I mean how can you be gay? You went out with Sasha. Hell, you took Joanna Kruppa to our junior prom! How was I supposed to know you're gay?”

Jensen shrugged. “I don't know if I am. I like girls. Dating Sasha was great for stress relief.” He was quiet while he gathered his thoughts. “I guess maybe I'm bi, but the only guy I like like that is you. I thought I was pretty damn obvious, too.”

Jared shook his head. He hadn't found Jensen obvious at all. But, as he reviewed recent events, he began to form a different conclusion. “You haven't dated all year. Since I told you. Not counting Sasha. Why?”

Jensen rubbed the back of his neck feeling both nervous and relieved. “I guess I was waiting for you.”

“But you never said anything!” Jared nearly shouted in exasperation. “You didn't,” he began and then blew out a breath. “You did. You asked me out. That was a date. _Elf_ was a fucking date.” He groaned and hung his head in embarrassment before resting it on Jensen's shoulder. “Holy crap, I'm an idiot. Why would you put up with me?”

Jensen smoothed a hand over Jared's hair and tilted his head to rest on Jared's. “ _Because I love you, you idiot_ ” was on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn't say it. Instead, he whispered, "Because you're my best friend."

Reluctantly, Jared pulled back to look Jensen in the eye. “Why did you tell Ben to ask me out?”

“Because you guys are like made for each other. Ben is a good guy. He's smart and good looking and he comes from a good family. You obviously like each other. I want you to be happy; he makes you happy.”

Jared thought his heart was breaking. He was happy. He and Ben were having a lot of fun together and he hadn't been dwelling on his feelings for Jensen. In fact, he hadn't talked to Jensen outside of school for over a week. Now, he was sinking in guilt. “What about you?”

“You know me, I'm fine. Nothing to worry about.” Jensen offered a tight smile that he knew Jared wouldn't accept, but it was all he could manage. “I've got to go, Jare. It's really late.”

“Jensen, it's Friday night, or Saturday morning, whatever. Stay over. We'll sleep in and my mom will make us breakfast and we can celebrate your birthday.”

Jensen shook his head. “No, that's nice of you and all and I appreciate it, but I'm going home.”

“You'll come by later, though, right?”

“Yeah, sure, later.” Jensen nodded but never met Jared's eye. He jumped from the tree house and jogged home.

Jared grabbed the picture and jumped down after him. He knew Jensen was lying about seeing him later. Quickly, and quietly so as not to disturb his family, he retrieved Jensen's gift from his room and raced over to his best friend's house.

 


	3. Chapter 3

 

Jared didn't wait for Jensen to answer his knock on his window. He slid the frame up until he was able to fit through. “Jared,” Jensen scolded in a whisper.

Jared answered with a grin. “I knew you were lying about later,” he replied as he crawled through the window and rolled onto the floor. “I'm not letting you get away with that.” He pushed himself up and held out a small gift.

Jensen shook his head and sat on his bed. “You should return that.”

“I can't. I already opened it and it's awesome and you are going to love it.” Jared sat next to him, dropping the gift in his lap. “Open it, asshole.”

Jensen willed his fingers to stop trembling as he carefully peeled the paper back. “Shit, Jared, an iPod? Dude, I can't, I can't take this. It's too much.” Jensen's chest tightened and he handed it back to Jared.

Jared shoved at his arm to stop him. “Oh no you don't. I've been planning this for forever. I loaded it up with all your favorites. You're supposed to say: 'thank you, Jared, it's awesome'.”

Jensen kept his head bowed. He had been saving up for an iPod and Jared knew how much he wanted one. He scrolled through the song list and tears unexpectedly blurred his vision. It was too generous and Jensen knew Jared would regret giving him the gift. “Thank you, Jared, it's awesome. I love it.” His voice was a shaky whisper.

Jared didn't know what to make of Jensen's behavior so he put an arm around him and pulled him into a one armed hug. “You thought I never listened when you talked about music.”

Jensen nestled closer for a second, but he felt like he was unraveling. Jared didn't want to let go, but as he looked around Jensen's room, he noticed it was much more barren than usual. “Jen, what's going on? Where's all your stuff?”

Jensen put the iPod back in it's box and set it between them as he moved away. Subtly wiping at his eyes he answered, “I'm leaving for Fort Jackson in a few hours.”

“What? How is that possible? What about school?”

“I tested out.”

“You were going to leave without telling me.”

“I wrote you a letter.”

Jared looked over to Jensen's bare desk and saw an envelope. In the next moment he was across the room, tearing it open.

“No, Jared, don't read that now.” Jensen tried to take it from him, but Jared turned away.

It was a confession similar to what he said in the tree house. “You're leaving and you tell me in a letter.” Jared fought the emotions rising in him. “You couldn't tell me in person? I've known you since we were five! We're best friends.”

“I tried.” Jensen was immediately in front of him, beseeching him with his eyes. “Every time I worked up the courage, you were with – you were busy.” He could see Jared was about to dismiss him, so he continued. “I can't take living with my parents anymore. After New Year's, I didn't have a reason to stick around. I went to the recruiting office and worked it out so that I could leave today.” He couldn't read Jared's expression and he wasn't sure if that had ever happened before. “Please don't hate me,” he pleaded, searching Jared's eyes for forgiveness. Not sure of how his best friend was feeling, Jensen turned to walk back to his bed, to return the iPod to Jared, when he was stopped by a grab to his arm.

Jared pulled him back and answered Jensen's questioning look with a kiss. Their kiss was exactly what they thought it would be like in that it was better than either had thought possible. As with everything they did together, they were in perfectly sync.

Guilt and joy were battling inside Jensen. He was getting what he wanted most, but Jared wasn't his to have. Jared didn't love him; this was just more pity. He knew it was selfish to continue kissing, but he couldn't bring himself to stop.

Jared's hands slid lower on Jensen's back pressing them closer together. He knew Jensen would be perfect to kiss, to touch, to hold. This kiss set his heart racing and short circuited his brain. 

When Jensen broke the kiss to argue, Jared shushed him. “Don't. Please, don't ask me to stop. We only have a little time and I don't want to spend it not kissing you.”

Jensen couldn't breathe. He hesitated, hoping to catch his breath. “We can't do this.” He pulled away only to have Jared follow.

“Yes we can,” Jared answered, reaching to cup Jensen's face and kiss him again.

Jensen stopped his hand. “We shouldn't. You'll resent me, you'll hate yourself for cheating on Ben, and I can't, Jared, I can't have you hating me. And you will, I know you. You'll feel guilty and as much as I want this to happen, I know, you're gonna--” his voice broke and tears threatened to surface, but Jared held him close. “It's okay, Jared. I'm going to be okay. You don't have to feel sorry for me.”

Jared threaded his fingers in Jensen's hair and rested their foreheads together. “Sorry for you? I feel sorry for not kissing you after _Elf_. I'm sorry I didn't go to Pete's party. I regret New Year's Eve, and I regret not having more time to tell you and to show you how I feel. But I love you. I've been in love with you for as long as I can remember and you love me and right now that's all that matters. We may only have this one chance to be together and I'm not going to let that slip by. _That_ is what I would regret, forever.”

Jensen tilted his head back to look Jared in the eye. Had he really said he loved him? His heart felt like it would burst, but he had to calm his emotions. “Damn, Jared, that was the girliest thing I have ever heard you say,” he teased grinning at the smile forming on Jared's face.

“It's a good thing you like girls then,” Jared said, leaning in to kiss his best friend.

Not breaking the kiss, Jensen took Jared's hands and led him to the bed. Then, he paused. He looked at his tiny twin bed and his duffel bag resting against it and knew he didn't want this place to hold his best memory. “Let's go to your house.”

Jared grabbed the iPod, Jensen slung the bag over his shoulder and took Jared's hand without bothering to take a last look at his bedroom.

 

 

 

When Jensen parked in front of Jared's house, he chuckled nervously. “After _Elf_ I sat here wondering what I was supposed to do next. Like do I try to kiss you or do I walk you to the door?” He shook his head at the memory. “I should have done something.”

Jared laughed. “I remember thinking how it felt like a date, but that if I tried to kiss you, you'd punch me.”

“Wouldn't have punched you then and I'm sure as hell not going to punch you now.” He leaned over and met Jared's smiling lips. “Too cold to be out here. Let's get inside.”

Jared cradled Jensen's head in his hand as he asked, “You're staying over, right?”

Jensen smiled and kissed him again. “Absolutely.”

 

After quietly making their way to Jared's room, the boys couldn't keep their hands off each other. Jensen's kisses became less demanding and more tender. The change left Jared off keel. His desire was ramping up and he needed more than just gentle kissing. The urgency of their situation was dawning on him. He might have Jensen now, but he didn't know when he'd have him again.

 

He guided them to his bed, both of them stumbling as they toed off shoes. With a grin, Jared slipped off his shirt, tugged down his pants and climbed into his double bed. Jensen followed immediately, practically falling between Jared's legs. His mind was consumed with the feel of Jared beneath him. Jared's body felt firm and strong under his touch and so very different from a girl. Jared let his hands explore Jensen's shoulders, the way the muscles of his back flexed, and his smooth skin down to his waist. His hand moved from the low curve of Jensen's back to the swell of his ass and he pulled Jensen closer as he rolled his hips against him. Jensen's breath stuttered at the sensation of Jared's hard on grinding into his own and he moaned softly into the kiss.

“I want to touch you,” he whispered against Jensen's neck before lightly sucking on the spot where his neck and shoulder met.

Anxiously, Jensen sat up on his knees. His hands went to the waist band of his boxers. As he gazed down at his best friend, his nerves kicked up even more. “You too,” he whispered, wondering if his whole body was trembling.

Jared nodded and moved to also be kneeling on the bed as he took off the last of his clothes. The moment they were off, he wrapped his arms around Jensen, keeping their bodies pressed together.

A soft moan escaped Jensen at the contact, but he muffled it against Jared's neck. He found that he couldn't stop kissing Jared; his hands traveled slowly up and down Jared's back while he kissed his neck, jaw, and mouth.

Jared slipped a hand between them and gently wrapped it around both of their erections, moaning at the touch. Slowly he stroked his hand up and down their lengths, gasping when Jensen bit into his shoulder.

Jensen pulled back just enough to rest his forehead on Jared's shoulder and look down. His hand joined Jared's and their hands moved together to get each other off.

Jared mimicked Jensen's posture and soon their breathing soon turned to panting. They were both dizzy with the feel of each other in their grasp. “Oh god, Jared, I'm gonna,” Jensen breathed, and that was enough for Jared. His eyes squeezed shut and his neck arched back as he came all over their chests and joined hands. Seeing his best friend fall apart and feeling Jared's come cover them sent Jensen over the edge.

Slowly, gently, they let go of each other and sat back on their heels. Once he felt under control, Jared said, “I should grab some tissue.”

Jensen snorted a small laugh. “Yeah, you've got a little something on you.”

Jared looked down at himself. “Huh, so I do.” Then he raised his hand and wiped it on Jensen's side. “Well, looks like you do, too.”

Jensen's lip twitched, fighting a full on smile. “Seriously?”

Jared just grinned, so Jensen had no other option but to tackle him, sending him backwards onto the bed. Jared's “Dude, gross!” dissolved into quiet laughter as they playfully wrestled.

Jared found Jensen's smile to be the most beautiful thing he had ever seen and had to kiss him, so he planted a quick peck on Jensen's lips. Surprised by Jared's kiss during their 'wrestling' match, Jensen stilled, and with his clean hand brushed Jared's hair from his face before he leaned in for a much deeper kiss.

When they finally broke the kiss Jared mumbled, “Towel, maybe I should grab us a towel.”

 

After cleaning up and slipping back into their boxers, they curled up in Jared's bed. Neither could take their eyes off the other, not wanting to break the spell that seemed to be over them. Jensen couldn't remember ever feeling happier. Jared wanted to bask in the way Jensen was looking at him. His eyes held a look of fondness and affection and peace that Jared didn't remember seeing before.

Jensen kissed him again. Slowly, tenderly, until Jared whined quietly, “I fucking love kissing you. Knew you'd be perfect.”

Jensen smiled. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. Always knew we'd be perfect.”

“Me, too.”

“No, you don't get it.” Jared propped himself up on he elbows to make his point. “I wanted to be with you for the longest time. I used to daydream about being your boyfriend and what it would be like to ...” Jared paused, too embarrassed to continue.

“To what?”

Jared sunk back down. “Nothin'.”

Jensen understood. “You mean be like this,” he said, pointing back and forth between them. Jared met his eyes. “I did, too. A lot, like all the time.” Jared's eyes were wide with surprise. “That's why New Year's sucked so bad.”

“Jensen --”

“No, Jared, it's okay. It sucked then, but it's how I knew I was in love with you. It doesn't hurt if it's not love.”

Jared wrinkled his brow in confusion. Love wasn't supposed to hurt.

Seeing that Jared didn't understand, Jensen explained, “When Sasha and I broke up, I didn't care. I mean she could do whatever and it didn't bother me. With you, after New Year's, I wanted to fuckin' die. I wanted to crawl in a hole and die. I never felt like that before. With anyone.” He couldn't help but smile at the concern on Jared's face. “It made me realize that I love you.”

“I'm sorry I was too slow to see what was going on with us,” Jared replied.

“Hey, I didn't make it exactly clear, either.”

Jared slipped his fingers through Jensen's hair. “Let's not waste time arguing over who was more of an idiot, when we can be making out instead.”

A grin split Jensen's face as he moved closer to kiss him. He gently placed a hand on Jared's cheek, dragging his thumb over Jared's lower lip. This kiss wasn't tentative like their earlier ones. Jensen had kissed enough to know how to make someone want more.

It didn't take long until Jared felt himself getting hard again. Embarrassed that Jensen's kisses had that effect on him, Jared shifted his hips so that Jensen wouldn't feel it. Jensen, however, had the opposite idea. He inched closer and pressed against Jared's leg, making sure Jared had no doubt how the kiss was affecting him.

“Jared,” he panted. “You drive me fuckin' crazy.” He rolled his hips with more determination and delved deeper into the kiss.

Jared moaned and turned into Jensen's embrace so he would feel how he was similarly turned on. He slid his hand down to Jensen's ass and pulled him flush against him.

In the next moment, Jared cupped Jensen's face and stared into his eyes for a moment, panting under the sensations coursing through him. He had been worried he would disappoint Jensen since he wasn't as experienced, but Jensen's words gave him confidence. He rolled Jensen onto his back and fell into place between his legs. 

Jensen stared up at him with wide eyes at the sudden move. Then Jared circled his hips causing Jensen to squeeze shut his eyes and bite his lip to stifle a moan. “Fuck, Jared,” he groaned on barely a breath. “That feels so good, don't stop.” He opened his eyes to find Jared looking at him with such tenderness that his breath caught in his throat. They were just moving in tandem, they weren't even naked, but suddenly this felt like much more than making out or sex.

Jensen felt every nerve tingling and his heart felt too full. He lifted his hand to brush back the hair from Jared's face. With one more undulation of his hips, Jared shuddered through his release. Holding Jared and feeling him come apart again made Jensen begin to tremble. Jared's hand was suddenly working him through his boxer briefs and he had to bite Jared's shoulder to stop from moaning too loudly as he, too, came in his shorts.

Jared couldn't fight a yawn. “I don't want to fall asleep.” 

“Me either,” Jensen yawned.

“Don't leave. Don't leave until you absolutely have to and don't leave without saying good-bye. Promise.”

“Promise.”

 

 

His phone chirped it's alarm, Jensen shut it off, and begrudgingly woke up. He laid quietly next to Jared for a moment, enjoying the feel of being beside him. He was regretting his decision to join up early, but had it not been for that, last night would have never happened and last night was the best night of his life. 

He instantly felt guilty for everything that happened. His insecurities multiplying in his head. He's certain that if he weren't leaving, Jared would never have been with him. He didn't want Jared to ever forget him, yet, at the same time, he didn't want Jared to feel guilty over last night. 

He heard his mother's voice in his head, reminding him that Jared has a bright future and he'd be forgotten the minute Jared leaves for college. He looked around the room once more before allowing his gaze to return to the sleeping Jared. He tried to convince himself that the night before wasn't just a dream; that they were in love, but he's certain Jared's going to feel guilty over it and hate him.

 

“I can hear you thinking,” Jared mumbled, slowly opening his eyes.

“Go back to sleep, Jay,” he whispered back, leaning over to kiss Jared's forehead and caress his cheek. 

“You leavin'?”

Jensen swallowed over the lump in his throat. “Yeah.”

Jared pulled his best friend into his arms. “I'm so glad you stayed over last night.” 

“Me, too.” 

“It was the best night of my life.” 

Jensen shook his head in disbelief. Reluctantly, Jensen crawled out of bed and dressed.

“Don't you dare get yourself killed. You're not allowed to get as much as a sunburn.”

Jensen glanced at him, not wanting to see his friend worried. “I'll be fine, Jared. I promise.”

Jared nodded and fell back onto the bed. There was so much he wanted to say, but he didn't know where to begin.

Jensen looked around to make sure he had everything as he thought of what to say to Jared. He wanted to tell him to have fun at prom and that college would be a blast and he'd do great, but he didn't want to think of all the things Jared would be doing without him. He was almost out the door, his hand was on the door knob when he turned to look at Jared. “I love you, Jared.”

Jared practically sprang from the bed to enclose Jensen in his arms. “I love you so much,” he whispered into Jensen's neck. “Don't ever forget that, or me.”

Jensen allowed himself to soak in Jared's love. “I could never forget you.”

They held on to each other for a long time. Jensen patted Jared's back, kissed his cheek and left.

Jared crawled back into his bed and clutched Jensen's pillow to his chest, wondering when he'd have the chance to hold the boy again. 

 

 

End of part 1


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part two of this story borrows heavily from Grosse Pointe Blank

  


* * *

  


Jensen didn't like his job. Sure, it paid extremely well and he was good at it, arguably one of the best, but it wasn't what he wanted to be doing. 

As he waited for his target to move into his sights, he slowed his breathing and heart rate. His commander once called him a lizard because he could become so still. 

Finally, the target came into view and took position. When the target prepared to pull the trigger, Jensen would fire and stop him. Jensen took a slow, deep, calming breath and took aim when his blue tooth whispered, “Jensen.”

“Misha, now is not a good time,” he murmured.

“But it's five after.”

“Well, McMannus was running late.” Through the scope, he watched the target's forearm flex. “Hold on.” Slowly releasing a breath, Jensen fired, his target slumped to the side. “Tell Daggert clean up on aisle five.”

“Check.” The sound of computer keys tapping could be heard over the ear piece while Jensen disassembled his rifle.

“Jensen,” Misha's voice became urgent. “There is a report of hostiles in your area and another back at one.” A pause as Misha collected more information. “It's your friends from Bangkok. They should be leaving the Regency right now.”

“Hmm, I see that.” He watched them through his rifle scope. They were armed, but didn't appear to know his location. They walked toward an outdoor cafe, keeping an attentive eye on their surroundings, but not yet looking toward him. He wondered if they were a red herring designed to draw him out into the open. 

An ambulance siren was approaching and Jensen knew he could use it as his distraction. As it drew closer to the cafe, he tracked it with his rifle and at a block from the cafe, he shot it's rear tire. The ambulance careened onto the sidewalk, hitting one of the supports of the cafe's canopy causing the entire thing to collapse onto the patrons. 

“Tell Daggert not to worry about the hostiles, they're taken care of.”

“Got it. Sending out another clean-up--”

“Don't need a crew. I just put them out of commission. They'll live. And I'm not worried about one.”

“What? Jens-”

“I'm not going back to the hotel, so he can sit there all day for all I care.” He began to pack up again. “I'll be at the rendezvous in twelve.”

“According to Daggert, it's Sheppard.”

Jensen grinned, slightly surprised by his adversary making the trip. “Really? Sheppard trekked all the way out here just to see little ol' me. I'm flattered.”

“You would be.” Misha said dryly. “He wants to kill you Jensen.”

“Nah, he wants me to quit and work for him. But if those two guys I just took care of worked for him, he's going to rethink his offer.”

Misha snorted. “I don't know. He may offer more since now he's obviously in need.”

“You trying to get rid of me?” Jensen teased. He put the gun case in the trunk of his rented car and leaned against the driver's door.

Misha gasped over dramatically, “Never!” The line was silent for a beat then Misha continued, “Flight OS814. Check. Jensen?”

“Account number 145257.”

“Got it.” Again, the line was quiet for a moment. “So, Jensen,” Misha's tone changed to casual. “You received some interesting mail today.”

“Oh, do tell,” he replied in mock excitement.

“Dear Truman High Alumni, Can you believe it's been ten years since you were a Bomber?”

“What?”

“What indeed. Truman Bombers? That's an awful name for a mascot.”

“Misha, what the hell are you talking about?”

“Sorry, I got distracted.” Misha cleared his throat and returned to reading. “Truman High Alumni blah blah blah, oh yes,” Misha cleared his throat, “Where are you now? Finishing your residency at Grace Memorial like Justin Hartley? Trekking across Nepal like Traci Dinwiddie? Making Hollywood blockbusters like Sasha Barres? Wherever you are, we can't wait for your return to Truman High for our Tenth reunion.”

“Tenth?” Jensen muttered under his breath. Had it really been ten years? “Shred it.”

“Jensen.”

“Shred it, Misha.”

“You don't want to go to your reunion?” he whined

“No, I don't want to go to my reunion,” Jensen replied in a voice that mocked Misha's whine.

“Hmm, I see,” Misha replied in his most condescending tone.

Jensen groaned. “What do you 'see' oh wise Misha?”

“When you get invited to your ten year reunion, time is catching up.”

Jensen agreed, ten years had passed in the blink of an eye. “Are you talking about a sense of my own mortality or a fear of death?”

“I hadn't thought about it that way. I only meant that you're getting older.”

“Did you go to yours?”

“Yes I did. All I can say is ten years adds at least ten pounds.”

“Why are you so interested in me going to my reunion?”

Misha answered with an over dramatic sigh. “You never talk about what you were like growing up. I find the idea of mini Jensen intriguing and kinda adorable --”

“Good-bye, Misha.” 

“Just tell me you'll think about it. Jensen? Jensen?” Misha sighed and disconnected as he realized he was talking to dead air.

Jensen sauntered toward the rendezvous point. Had it really been ten years since he'd seen Jared?

* * *

  
  


Jared set down an overstuffed box in his mother's living room. “This is the last of it, Mom,” he announced, collapsing into a sweaty heap on the couch. 

“Thank you, dear!” she called from the other room. “You've got some mail on the desk in there. Be sure to grab it before you leave.”

Jared was too tired and hot to move. Helping his mother get boxes from storage was exhausting work. “What is all this stuff, Mom? Why'd you need it anyway?”

She joined him, offering him a large iced lemonade. “These are our old photo albums and other bric a brac y'all made as kids.” She opened the first box. “I'm making a scrapbook for Daddy's retirement. And Liz said she wanted some of Jeff's things to keep for their children. And Megan wanted something, but I can't remember what it was,” she paused to think. “Well, I'll just have to call her.” 

Gingerly, she removed a few items and set them on the coffee table. Jared immediately took note of one of the photos. His chest squeezed and the room went fuzzy as he hyper focused on the picture. “Mom?” his voice squeaked timidly. “Mom, what is this? Where did you get it?”

“Where'd I get what, dear?” She barely hesitated in her task.

“This! This picture! Where'd you get it?”

Jared's sudden demanding tone caused his mother to stop working and look at her son. A reprimand for his manners died on her tongue when she saw the picture. She took a deep breath and blew it out slowly to calm herself. “That's Jensen, dear, in his army uniform. He sent that to us after he left. You know that. Why you must have seen it about a thousand times.”

Jared stared at the photo. “Mom, I have never seen this picture before. I think I'd remember seeing this.” _Hell_ , he thought, _if I had seen this, it sure as_ _shit_ _wouldn't be in some musty box in your attic._

His mother waved him off. “We had it on the shelf along with everybody else's pictures. You just never paid attention to anything outside your own little world.”

“Mom,” he complained. “I never saw this.” He couldn't stop staring at the young man looking back at him. “When did he send this?”

“Oh, I don't know. Look at the back, I'm sure I wrote the date on it.”

Jared flipped the photo over. October 11, 2003 was written neatly in his mother's handwriting. He swallowed dryly. He had been in his freshman year of college then. “I was at State when you got this.”

“Hm, that's right, you were at school then.” She walked over to join her son in looking at the young man in uniform. “Didn't he look handsome in his uniform? I remember Megan loving that picture and always setting it in front of yours.” She laughed lightly at the memory. “Well, I'm sure you saw it when you came home for Christmas.”

“You always put Santa's workshop on the shelf. Our pictures got packed away,” he reminded her quietly. 

“That's right. But I'm sure you would have seen it some other time,” she patted his hand and went back to sorting through box. “Oh, I remember. Megan took it to school for a “Support our Troops” campaign the student council was doing.”

“Can I keep this?” 

“Sure, sweetie, if you like.”

“Thanks.” He continued to stare at the picture drowning in loss and nostalgia. Coming back to the present he asked, “You said I had mail?”

“On the desk, dear.”

Jared kissed his mom on the cheek. “Thanks. I'll see you this weekend, okay?”

“Okay, hun. Thanks for your help.” She watched him leave and ached for him. She knew her son harbored strong feelings for Jensen and it pained her that he felt his friend had abandoned him. She knew Jensen wouldn't return once he was away from his parents. Unfortunately, leaving town meant leaving Jared.

  
  


After sifting through his mail, Jared drove to his favorite bar, O'Leary's. Alcohol. He needed copious amounts of alcohol in him now.

When Zach set a third beer in front of him, the bartender had to voice his concern. “Jared, I don't know what's going on, but I think you should take it easy.”

“Three beers won't get me drunk, Zach.”

“I know. But, there's no way in hell I can carry your ass out of here and if you drink any more, I'm not letting you drive.” Zach folded his arms across his chest and leaned against the back of the bar. “Tell me what's going on with you.”

Jared combed his fingers through his hair. “My past crept up on me like a ninja and kicked me in the face.”

“Poetic. But what the hell are you talking about?”

“I was helping my mom earlier and found a picture of the first guy, maybe the only guy, I was ever in love with.” Jared paused and took a drink of his beer. “It was a picture I'd never seen before and it stirred up a lot of shit I had buried.”

Zach nodded his understanding. “Who is this guy?”

Jared shook his head. “He was my best friend growing up and I was totally crazy about him. I haven't seen him since he joined the army our senior year of high school.” He took a drink from his beer. “So, I'm kinda still reeling from the photo when I get my mail and right there is an invitation to my ten year reunion.”

Zach's eyes bugged out. “Shit, ten years? Whoa, you haven't seen this guy in ten years and he still affects you like this?”

Jared shrugged. “I didn't realize so much time had slipped by. I have no idea where he is, if he's still in the service, or even if he's still alive.”

“Can't you ask his family?”

“No. His dad's dead and his mom is in a home or something. Wouldn't matter, though, he hated them. Used to knock him around as a kid. They were part of the reason he wanted out of this town so badly.”

“What was his other reason?”

“Me.” 

 

* * *

 

  
  


His apartment was quiet when Jensen finally got home. The whole city is quiet at four in the morning, though. However, this was his favorite time of day. He felt like he was the only one left alive.

He had a specific routine when returning from a 'business' trip. He'd unpack the two possessions that he was never without and return them to their 'home' locations. The picture of him and Jared was placed on his book shelf, next to a framed copy of it, and his iPod was set in it's charger. 

Ten years. Ten fucking years. His finger caressed the edge of the photo as he wondered if Jared would be at the class reunion.

It wasn't like Jensen hadn't looked for Jared, he had. He had decent Google – fu and could uncover things about a target or a location that even Misha couldn't, but when it came to Jared there seemed to be nothing to find.

There had been a brief flirtation with facebook during Jared's college years, but nothing since. Jensen had no desire to revisit those pages and see Jared posing with various boyfriends. It had destroyed him the first time and just remembering hurt like a bitch.

Last time he looked up Megan Padalecki, her posts were centered on her and her sorority and even going back several months, she hadn't mentioned family.

His fingers hovered over the laptop's keyboard for a moment before he gave in and started a search. Again, zero results. Something must have happened that made Jared erase his digital footprint and Jensen prayed that where ever Jared was, he was safe, safe and happy.

He shut his laptop and double checked his calendar grateful to see that, like after every trip, there was an appointment scheduled with his therapist, Doctor Benedict for later that morning. 

 

* * *

 

  
  


At Doctor Robert Benedict’s office

Jensen sat in an overstuffed chair in a dimly lit office. Doctor Robert Benedict sat in a high backed office chair behind his desk. He didn't look at Jensen, instead he looked wistfully at the bonsai tree he kept on the corner of his desk. 

Jensen waited for his doctor to ask a question, but when the doctor remained quiet, he decided to discuss what was weighing on him the most. “I got an invitation to my ten year reunion. I'm feeling conflicted. It's back home, obviously, but I don't know what I have in common with those people anymore. They all have husbands and wives and kids and dogs. They made themselves a part of something and can talk about what they do. What am I going to say? 'Hi, I'm Jensen Ackles, remember me? Not married, no kids, but I can kill you in dozen different ways if someone pays me enough.' It's depressing,” Jensen complained. He noticed his doctor still appeared to be ignoring him. “I said it would be depressing. Shouldn't you at least pretend to pay attention?”

Doctor Benedict swallowed nervously and stilled his tapping foot. “I am paying attention, but you know that I am uncomfortable treating you and that it is my opinion that you seek help elsewhere.”

“I don't want to seek help elsewhere. I feel that I have made real progress with you and I don't want to start all over with another therapist. That would make **me** uncomfortable.” 

Dr. Benedict sat back. Fear coloring his expression. “It's statements like that which cause me anxiety. I-I can't help you if I feel threatened by you.”

“Threatened? Believe me, if I threatened you, you'd know it.”

“That isn't helping, Jensen,” he whined. “And if you've committed a crime or are thinking about committing a crime, I have to tell the authorities.”

“I know the law,” Jensen reminded him. “But I don't want to be withholding. I'm very serious about this process and, again, I feel that we've made real progress.”

Each man sat back, waiting for the other to continue. 

“Well?” Jensen inquired.

“Well what?”

“What do we do next? We've all ready established that my mother is the cause of my feelings of inadequacy and I feel completely vindicated in my dislike of the woman. So, thank you for that, but what next? My father? My reunion? My dreams? What can we discuss that won't cause you anxiety?”

Doctor Benedict sighed in defeat and hoped to discuss the least threatening topic. “How are you feeling?”

Jensen blinked in surprise. “I'm feeling stressed. I'm having problems at work; a competitor is edging in on my territory. It's making me very ill at ease.”

Nervously, Doctor Benedict tapped his desk. “Let me make a suggestion, take it for what it's worth, but maybe the reason you feel so miserable is the angst over killing people.”

Jensen dismissed the idea with a wave of his hand. “Come on. If I show up at your door, chances are you did something to bring me there. I'm not concerned with the morality of my job.” He shifted in his chair. “I don't want to talk about my job. It makes you uncomfortable and I don't think a person's job defines who they are as a person.”

Appreciating that Jensen was avoiding the 'work' discussion for his benefit, the doctor changed topics. “Okay, let's talk about something else. What else has been concerning you?”

Jensen shrugged. “I had another dream about Jared.”

“Jared, the guy you're obsessed with?”

“Obsessed?” Jensen scoffed. “Don't you think that's a little strong?”

“Uh, recurring dreams of loss and pain for ten years featuring the same person? Yeah, that may be the actual definition of obsession.”

Jensen huffed. He knew he might _occasionally_ be preoccupied with Jared. Part of why he was in therapy was to learn how to get over the feelings he'd been nursing for ten years. “Fine. What do I do about it?”

“My advice is to go to your reunion. Have fun, relax. See Jared.” The doctor leaned closer. “You'll see that the man is human and not this near perfect god like creature of your dreams.”

“I never said he was 'god like',” Jensen mumbled. 

The doctor waved off his reply. “Go. See how the other half lives and don't kill anyone for a few days. See what **that** feels like.”

“All right, I'll give it a shot.”

“No, don't shoot anyone.”  


* * *

 

Misha was already at the office when Jensen arrived, anxiously pacing while waiting for the man. The moment he heard Jensen's hand on the doorknob, he sat at his desk and pretended to be working. 

“Mornin'” Jensen grumbled, walking passed Misha to his desk. 

“Morning,” Misha replied cheerfully, instantly drawing Jensen's concern. His eyes narrowed as he studied his partner from his desk.

“What.” It wasn't a question as much as a demand for an explanation.

Misha ignored him and kept tapping at his keyboard.

“Misha, quit your fake typing and say what you want to say and get it over with.”

He was about to feign ignorance but Jensen's quirked brow stopped him. It was annoying how well they knew each other. “How was therapy?”

Jensen's eyes narrowed even more. “Delightful,” he replied with enough sarcasm for Misha to feel warned.

Misha was quiet for a few minutes, but then he had to speak. “I don't know if you mentioned your class reunion to Dr. Benedict but a file came in this morning and it's located about twenty minutes from your hometown, so if you wanted to attend your reunion you could easily swing by after the job.” He tossed Jensen the flash drive the details of the new assignment. 

“You want me to work a job and afterward attend my high school reunion?!”

“That way you can expense the travel costs,” Misha suggested.

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

Misha shrugged. “Just think about it.”

“What's the job?”

“Corporate work. It pays well.”

“You _know_ how I feel about corporate work.”

“Yes, but I also know how _**we**_ feel about eating and paying rent.”

 

* * *

 

  
  


Jared was restless, unable to keep still, unable to focus on anything. His mind kept returning to Jensen. He was so engulfed in his thoughts that he missed his station manager calling his name.

“J.T.? J.T.! You with us?” 

“Huh? Yeah. I got it,” Jared answered automatically and began to stack the papers in front of him.

Jeff Morgan rolled his eyes. “All right, meeting's over. Jared, stay behind a minute.” Once the others left, Jeff turned to Jared. “Jay, you've got to focus, man. I depend on you. You and your show carry this station. So why don't you tell me what's got you so distracted? Jeff having another kid?”

Embarrassed that his distraction was noticed by his boss, Jared slumped in his chair like a scolded child. He really didn't feel like sharing his personal life with his boss. “No, my brother's not having a kid. My high school reunion is coming up and I really don't want to go.”

Jeff's face lit up. “Your high school reunion? We can plan a whole week of shows around it. That's perfect. I'll have Sarah start working on the play list and Bob and I will work on a promotion to go with it.” He stood, effectively dismissing Jared. “Good idea, J.T.”

Jared's head fell into his hands in defeat. At least he hadn't mentioned Jensen, Jeff would probably do a week on lost loves.

 

* * *

 

  
  


Jensen had spent more than an hour going over his personal finances and those of the firm's. He should be okay to take an extended break. Maybe even retire completely if he's prudent. The last several minutes had him coursing through every nervous habit he had until Misha nearly exploded.

“Jensen! Tell me what is going on in that pretty little head of yours because if you tap that pencil one more time, I'm going to the weapons closet and using you as target practice.”

Jensen froze in mid tap and gently set the pencil on the desk. “You aren't really concerned about food and rent, are you Misha?”

Misha studied him for a moment before he answered. “No, not for the immediate future, but it's not like I could never work again.” Jensen nodded. “Why? What are you thinking about over there?”

“How much do we have in petty cash?”

Misha went from annoyed to immediately concerned. First, Jensen was acting anxious and now, he was asking about their easy access cash. Something must be dangerously wrong. “There's enough for us to survive for a few months. Seriously, Jensen, what is going on? Is there a problem with the corporate gig? Did something happen in therapy that I should know about? Do we have to disappear?”

Jensen shook off Misha's inquiry. “I'm not interested in that corporate job. I'm thinking of offering it to Sheppard.” At his partner's shocked expression, Jensen held up a hand and said, “Hear me out. Giving him this job should get him off our backs. At the same time, the job gets done so our 'employer' is satisfied.”

After blinking at his associate for several seconds, Misha asked, “Are you saying you're 'walking off the field'?”

Jensen smiled. “I'm saying you take the petty cash, marry Vicki and run off to that island to live like the hedonist kids you are.”

Misha was dumbstruck; he sat, staring at Jensen like the man had grown antlers. Finally, he was able to speak. “Are you sure? All the petty cash?”

Jensen grinned. “You earned it, buddy. But, before you go live happily ever after, I am going to need you for the next couple of days.” He walked over to the weapons closet and opened the door. “We're having a fire sale.”

* * *

  
  


Less than a week later, Mark Sheppard was standing in the nearly empty office of Jensen Ackles watching one of his men load several boxes of ammunition onto a hand cart. “So this is it, then? You're done, out of the business for good?”

Jensen folded his arms across his chest and leaned back against his desk. “This is it. Consider me retired.”

“You really think it's that easy?”

Jensen smirked. Easy no, was he doing it anyway? Hell yes. “Of course it's easy. This was never intended to be my life long occupation.”

Misha chose that moment to enter the office. He was holding a flash drive and smiling widely. “I found him!”

Mark spun around and raised a curious brow. “Hm? What's this? What have you found?”

Misha's eyes widened in slight panic. “Nothing. It's nothing. Just a thing I was looking for, nothing important.”

Mark smirked, amused at how easily he was able to rattle the man. “So it isn't a job? Because our boy Jensen here is – retired.”

Jensen put a reassuring hand on Mark's should and led him to the door. “It's probably that dancing you tube guy. Misha loves that guy.”

Mark turned on his heel and shook Jensen's hand. “Pleasure doing business with you, Ackles. You better hope to never see me again.”

“Already wish you were gone,” he retorted before nearly shutting the door in the man's face.

  
  


He turned to his partner. “All right, Mr. Collins, who did you find and why did he put your knickers in such a twist.”

Misha pointed the flash drive at him while he composed himself. Then he sat at Jensen's desk, the only one still in the 'office', and plugged the drive into the computer. After allowing the file to upload to the computer, he sat back with a very self satisfied grin. “I found Jared Padalecki.”

  
  


Jensen gaped as picture after picture of Jared filled the screen. Some were older, but many looked recent, especially the one of him holding a baby. “Where – how – how did you get these? How did you find him?”

Misha grew even more smug. “Used the names from your reunion invitation to shake up some searches until a few correlations formed and your boy, Jared aka J.T. finally fell out of the mix.”

Jensen was too stunned to speak. Misha patted him on the shoulder. “You should go pack.” He pulled a ticket from his back pocket and pressed it to Jensen's chest. “You've got a reunion to attend.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for being so patient with this fic. The flash drive with the ending got corrupted and so the ending had to be redone. But, now there are two new chapters for this story.

* * *

Jensen sat in his car across from the radio station. A nervous energy swirled through him. He could actually see Jared as he worked in the 'fishbowl' broadcast booth. Jared. There were times when the memory of him had kept Jensen alive. And there he was, looking completely carefree and amazing and taller than Jensen remembered. 

He knew he had been sitting there, watching, for long enough to be the new poster boy for 'creepy stalker', but he had noticed that he wasn't the only 'stalker' on the street. It seemed like he had picked up one of his own. 

Two men sat in a Chevy Lumina half a block away. Jensen was pretty sure they were CIA or FBI, but until he had confirmation, he'd sit. Just then, his phone buzzed in a text. “Finally,” he muttered as he read it.

_FBI. Henrickson and Reidy. White collar unit._

“What the hell would they want with me?” he asked himself. The corporate job, it had to be. They thought he was working it. He chuckled, aren't they barking up the wrong tree.

  
  


“Hey, we're back. I want to thank all of you for listening. As you know, this week's trip down memory lane was inspired by my high school reunion. I don't understand the purpose of reunions. If we were close in high school, we'd still be friends and I'd still see you or we'd keep in touch. If we weren't friends back then, chances are we aren't friends now. If you thought I was a jerk in school, spending an evening drinking with me isn't going to change your mind.” 

There was a tap on the studio window and Jared paused to see Kim Rhodes giving him a stern look and he laughed. “My producer, Kim, is giving me the stink eye. She believes reunions can be romantic. But come on Kim, getting the chance to hook up with your high school crush is a Hollywood cliché, not reality.”

“So, for all you listeners hoping to hook up this weekend, here's my idea of a love song.” _I Miss You_ by Blink 182 began to play.

  
  


Across the street, Jensen grinned and climbed out his car and approached the less than stealth agents. Knowing they had been spotted, they didn't even bother to pretend otherwise. “Good afternoon, gentlemen,” he said cheerfully as he crouched next to their car. “I'm going to go in and say 'hello' to my friend. Then, I think I'm going to get something to eat maybe have a beer or two. There used to be a good steak joint over on Maple. I promise there will be nothing more interesting than that and if you behave, you won't get the 'banana in the tailpipe' treatment.”

  
  


Jared was skimming through a files on his computer screen when he heard the studio door. “Kim, are we still doing the Jake's Steaks give away? I don't see the spot scheduled next hour.”

“I don't know.”

Hearing a voice that was far too masculine to be Kim's, Jared spun in his chair to see who had walked into his studio and froze.

Suddenly wondering if this had been a horrible idea, Jensen greeted him with a worried smile. “Hi. It's me, Jens-”

“I know who you are,” Jared replied as he crossed the tiny space in two steps and engulfed his friend in a tight embrace. “Holy shit,” he mumbled.

After the briefest of moments, Jensen allowed himself to relax and he hugged back. “It's good to see you, man,” Jensen managed to squeak out under the pressure of the hug. 

Jared slowly let go, but he dragged his hands down Jensen's arms and kept them there. “Holy shit,” he repeated. “You're really here.”

Jensen's smile grew. “I'm here. I --”

He was interrupted by a tap on the studio window. Jared's perturbed producer was tapping and pointing at the controls and mouthing 'dead air'.

Jared's eyes went wide and he hurried back to the controls. “Hey, kids sorry about that. Turns out Kim was right and I was wrong. Here's some music by some people, enjoy.” He flipped a switch and Weezer began to play. 

“So, um, great show. I've been listening,” Jensen said once the microphone was off and Jared could speak freely to him again.

Jared stared and still seemed to be in shock. “You came back for the reunion?”

“No.” Jensen paused. “Well, yes, but no, not really.”

Jared shook his head and teased, “Still good at saying what you mean.” 

Jensen hung his head in mock embarrassment, but still managed a light blush. 

“Where have you been? You're not still in the service, are you? What are you doing now?”

“I've been everywhere, I'm a professional hit-man. Retired, I'm a retired hit-man.” 

Amused, Jared snorted a laugh. “Retired? At the ripe old age of 28? Contract killing must pay well.”

Jensen shrugged. “What time are you done working?” 

“Six”

Jensen checked his watch and then looked back at Jared. “Then, when you're done working I'd like to take you out to dinner, if you don't have other plans.”

“I don't have other plans.”

Jensen smiled. “Then it's a date.” Jared gave him a pleased look which made Jensen add, “And by date, I mean date. Unless you're seeing someone, then by date I mean an appointed time at which to meet.”

Jared was about to answer, but Jensen pointed to the controls because the song was ending. Jared rushed to flip the microphone on. “I'm sure you all enjoyed that as much as I did. So here's some,” he double checked his song list, “Cake.”

'Never There' began to play and Jared once again turned to face Jensen. “Before I answer, tell me one truthful thing about you from the last ten years.”

“I still have the iPod you gave me. It's with me everywhere I go.” To prove his point he pulled it from his pocket.

Jared's face warmed with affection. “I'll meet you at O'Leary's at six-thirty.”

Jensen's jaw twitched but he nodded and anyone who didn't know him would think he sounded pleasant. “Meet at six-thirty at O'Leary's.” He felt a little crushed, but it was unreasonable to think Jared would be single.

“Wait.” Jared tugged on Jensen's arm. “This is absolutely a date. First definition of date. Not the appointment kind.”

Jensen visibly relaxed, but became a whole new type of nervous in the same moment. “I better go before you get fired.”

“They wouldn't fire me. I'm too awesome.”

“I'll wait for you at O'Leary's. And don't be late or I'll probably spiral into some sort of nervous breakdown.”

Jared laughed. “Don't worry. I won't keep you waiting ten years or anything.”

“Ouch.” Jensen put a hand over his heart. “Am I going to get beat up all night?”

He shrugged but his teasing smile betrayed him. “Maybe, there's a fifty-fifty chance.”

  


* * *

With over an hour to waste before needing to get to O'Leary's, Jensen decided to drive through his old neighborhood. A quiet anger formed inside him. What did he hope to accomplish by seeing his old house? A place he hated more than any other in the world, including the Afghan mountains. As he pulled onto his old street, he was shocked at the change to the neighborhood. All of the houses had been replaced with a shopping center.

He parked and walked to where his house had been and had to stifle a laugh. A liquor store now stood there. Probably had enough inventory to open with what the folks kept on hand, he thought. He was ready to move on when he heard someone call his name.

“Jensen Fucking Ackles! Holy shit!”

Jensen turned. “Mikey Rosenbaum?”

Mike laughed and shook Jensen's hand. “You are a sight for sore eyes, my friend. I thought you fell off the face of the earth.”

“I think I did for a while.”

“You here for the reunion? Did you see JT, yet? I bet he flipped his shit. He did, didn't he?”

Jensen chuckled but before he could respond, a woman with a toddler in a stroller approached them and Mike put his arm around her. “Hey, baby, I want you to meet a friend of mine. Jensen this is my wife, Kristen, and this little guy is Dylan.” He bent down and lifted his son out of the stroller. “Dylan, can you say 'hi' to Mister Ackles?” When the child's only response was to wave his arms around, Mike grinned. “Not bad for a six month old.”

Mike's wife giggled. “Nice to meet you, Jensen.”

“Yeah, you too.” Jensen could barely tear his eyes from the infant in his friend's arms. “Wow, Mike, I can't believe you're a dad.”

Kristen laughed harder. “Because Mike is such a child, right?”

Jensen didn't follow her joke, he was too awe struck by Mike and the baby. “Ignore her, Jensen, my child-like outlook is why she loves me.” He returned the boy to the stroller. “So, what have you been doing?”

Jensen coughed, “Professional hit-man.”

“Nice, you have a good dental plan with that? Kristen's been bugging me to look for a job with a better dental plan.”

“No, no dental plan.”

“Can't have everything. We'll see you at the reunion, right Jen?”

“Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Nice to meet you, Kristen.”

Jensen had been so taken by his run in with the family, he didn't notice Mark Sheppard leaving the hardware store a few feet away from him. However, Mark saw Jensen and immediately placed a call. “Pellegrino, I have a job for you.” There was no way Ackles being in town was a coincidence. He had to be there for the job, which led Sheppard to believe he was being set up.

  


* * *

  


Jared walked into O'Leary's with a smile that faded the instant he didn't see Jensen waiting at the bar. He did a cursory look around, but the bar was crowded since it was happy hour and if Jensen was there, Jared couldn't see him. 

Jensen was there, of course, watching Jared from the back booth, just being in the same room as Jared made him feel a kind of peace he hadn't felt in ages. It dawned on him that he felt happy, and it amused him to watch Jared look for him.

Jared waved Zach down and ordered a beer. When the bartender delivered it, he refused Jared's money and pointed to Jensen in the back booth. Jared looked over and at laughed at himself for worrying.

  
  


“You thought I wouldn't show,” Jensen said once Jared sat opposite him.

“More like I thought maybe I had imagined you.”

Jensen shifted in his seat. “Ran into Rosenbaum when I checked out the old neighborhood. He's married and has a kid,” he said in a tone of disbelief.

“It's not that uncommon,” Jared reminded him.

“Maybe, but Rosey? With a kid?” Jensen shook his head and Jared chuckled. Seeing Jared laugh warmed Jensen immediately. 

Jared had learned to get to the point. He wasn't going to sugar coat or tip toe around Jensen. He took a deep breath and asked what he'd been dying to know, “Tell me why I haven't heard from you in ten years.”

Jensen was instantly defensive, but decided Jared deserved the best explanation he could offer. “I tried. I sent your family a letter with my picture when I left Germany for Afghanistan. When I didn't hear back, I figured you must be pretty damn busy with your first year in college.” Jared looked like he wanted to argue, but Jensen continued. “I wasn't there long when I got recruited by special forces and well, I really wasn't allowed to keep in touch.” 

He picked at the label of his beer bottle with his thumb nail while he decided what to explain next.

“Special forces? That's pretty cool,” Jared said with just the right amount of awe.

Jensen snorted derisively, “Yeah, not really. It's fuckin' scary as hell and anyone that tells you different has bought into the romantic image not the reality.” He finished his beer, set the empty next to Jared's and leaned back. “They found my skill set and psychological profile desirable, so I became a member of a very small team that was assigned to certain classified operations.” 

He barely met Jared's intent eyes. “Anyway, more to the point, I didn't have many opportunities to contact home. When I did, I looked you up on facebook.” He nearly blushed at the admission and Jared's astonished look. “We weren't allowed to have accounts, so I could see your page – wall whatever, but I couldn't post anything. You were in your second year at State and,” he couldn't help the fond smile that covered his face, “you looked great. Happy, lots of friends, but bitching about classes.” 

Jared was uncomfortable because he knew there had also been plenty of pictures of him with different boyfriends. Ignoring Jared's embarrassed expression, Jensen added, “During our next mission, my team was attacked.” Emotion began to bleed into Jensen's words. “We were pinned down in this remote fucking --” he stopped, took a second to compose himself and plastered on a fake smile. Jared recognized it as the same one Jensen wore as a kid after a beating and he was trying not to let Jared know what happened.

He took a shuddering breath. “When I finally made it out of there, the CIA decided I was a hell of an asset and put me to work. Then, about two, no three, years ago I struck out on my own. I'm pretty good with a computer and so is Misha, my, uh partner, but you were impossible to find. I tried-- facebook, google, linked in, twitter but you were gone. Megan's and Jeff's facebook pages disappeared, too.” 

“Believe me, I wasn't in a good head space when I got back to the states, so I couldn't contact your mom. Just to come back here for this reunion, I must have talked to my therapist a dozen times.” He shook his head at that admission and finally attempted eye contact with Jared. “I did try Jared.”

Jared felt wrung out and clueless as to where to begin. Jensen had been so much. “Therapy. That's good. It's helping?”

“Yeah, it's great,” he replied sarcastically. “We've covered my issues with my parents and we're moving on to my obsessive disorder,” Jensen joked to himself.

“Obsessive disorder?”

“Never mind. Tell me about you, now. What made you become J.T. and the Padaleckis erase themselves from the internet?”

“Crazy stalker ex-boyfriend. Made my life a living hell for a while and even went after the family.”

“Do you want me to take care of him?” Jensen asked in all seriousness.

Thinking he was joking, Jared barked a laugh. “No. No need for your crazy Liam Neeson skill set.” He smiled at Jensen's concerned expression. “Seriously, I'm fine. We're all fine.” He ordered them another beer. “So, uh, tell me about Misha. How'd you meet?”

Jensen rubbed at the back of his neck, unsure of why Jared would want to know about Misha. “Misha? Well, uh, he worked for the CIA, seemed like a pretty cool guy, so when I was ready to leave the agency I approached him.”

“So you guys have been together for a few years then. Is he coming to the reunion?”

Jensen let Jared's words sink in for a moment. “Misha is my business partner, not my life partner,” he snapped but then started to laugh. “We will _never_ let Misha know you thought that, or I will never hear the end of it.”

Jared smiled sheepishly at Jensen’s laughter. “So, does that mean you aren't seeing anyone?”

Emotions washed over Jensen's face before he shook his head. “No, I'm too damaged to be in a relationship.”

“You're not that damaged.”

Jensen smirked. “You're my best friend. You have to say that.”

“No. I'm your best friend and that's how I know that.” He tipped his beer toward him in a toast and took a large swallow, inwardly smiling at Jensen calling him his best friend. 

Jensen felt off balance so he steered the conversation back to safe topics. “You're a DJ. That's, uh, cool, I guess. How the hell did that happen? Weren't you an English major or some shit like that?”

“Yeah, well unlike hit-man., there's not a huge demand for English majors. I switched to broadcast journalism and well, Morgan always had a soft spot for me. I wanted to be a reporter, but I settled for the job he offered me.” 

Something about that made Jensen instantly jealous and he had to shake it off. “We should order. They have good food here, right?” He looked into the crowd for the first time since Jared sat down and groaned when he saw Henrickson and Reidy watching him from across the room. “Why don't you order, I'm going to see a man about a horse.”

He left a confused Jared and headed for the men's room, knowing the agents would be soon to follow. 

Reidy leaned against the door, insuring no one else would enter, Henrickson casually walked to the sink to wash his hands. “You getting some kind of sick pleasure out of this trip down memory lane, Ackles?”

“Gentlemen, I can assure you this is not a business trip.”

Reidy snorted. “Then why is Sheppard in town? He graduate with you, too?”

“If you want to know why Sheppard's in town, you'd have to ask him. I'm sure he'd be willing to sit down for a nice chat.” He tossed his paper towel. “Now, I'm gonna go back out there and enjoy a good meal with a good friend. You guys have a nice evening.”

  


The agents made a point of walking passed Jensen's table causing him to bristle which, of course, Jared noticed. “Friends of yours?”

“Your tax dollars at work.” He stretched his arm across the back of the booth. “So, why haven't you found yourself a nice young man and settled down?”

“Well it wasn't for lack of trying.” Jared ran a hand through his hair. “I was with this guy, Jeremy, for a while, but we wanted different things, so we broke up last summer.”

“What kind of different things?”

Jared smiled sadly. “Different people.”

“I'm sorry.”

“Are you?”

“Yeah, of course I am, Jared. I want you to be happy.”

“Sorry. I have some trust issues, I guess.”

“I know a good therapist, I'll give you his card.”

  
  


They spent the rest of the meal swimming in nostalgia and laughter. Both of them amazed at how easy it was to fall back into their friendship.

“How's my girl Megan doin'?”

Jared thought about telling Jensen about how she took his picture to school, but instead answered, “Good. She's in her second year of teaching at Roosevelt Elementary.”

“No kidding? Wow,” he replied with just the right amount of pride in his voice that any older brother would have. “And what about Jeffery? What's he been up to?”

“Well,” Jared sighed. It was difficult not to feel jealous of all of his brother's success. “Jeff's a doctor up in Piedmont. He's married, they have a little boy, and yeah, he's still the favorite.”

Jensen's mouth twitched into a smile. “The favorite?”

“Yeah, he's everything mom could want. Successful doctor – check; married – check; grand-kid – check. Megan and I can't compete.”

“Okay. Maybe for now, but wait 'til she finds out I'm back,” he replied sounding so sincere and smug that Jared burst out laughing. “What? You know she loved me best.”

 

They finished their meal and another round of beers and Jensen insisted on picking up the check. Nothing felt unusual or uncomfortable as they walked towards Jared's truck. When Jared pulled his keys from his pocket, Jensen decided to take a chance. “This was good. I mean, I had a good time.”

Jared smiled to himself. “Me too.”

Jensen stopped walking and willed his nerves to calm down. “Good. So I was wondering if I could take you to the reunion.”

Now, Jared couldn't hide his grin. “As your date?” he joked turning to face him.

“Yes, as my date.”

Jared looked skeptical. “Wasn't this a date?”

Jensen answered by stepping forward, placing his hands on Jared's hips, and lightly pressing a kiss on Jared's lips. He gently sucked on Jared's bottom lip and a moment later, Jared's tongue was teasing a soft moan from Jensen. Jensen eased Jared back against the truck and smiled to himself as he and Jared still seemed to fit perfectly together. 

Jared knew he was falling all over again and he had to stop before he fell all the way. “Fuck, Jensen,” he gasped and pushed lightly at Jensen's hips to break them apart. 

“On the first date? Jared, I'm not that kind of guy,” he teased and leaned in for another kiss but was denied.

“When are you going home?” Jared could see Jensen's brow knit in confusion. “Sunday? Monday?” He ran a hand through his hair to soothe his nerves.. 

“Home?” Jensen repeated wondering where this was coming from. “I don't have a home. I have a tiny apartment with a really nice mattress and a picture of us from our little league days. I don't know when I'm going back there.” He felt like Jared had dumped ice water on him. “I was wrong to hope to stay here for a while, wasn't I.” He stepped back, set his fake smile in place, and said, “Thanks for having dinner with me, Jared, maybe I'll see you at the reunion.”

Jared felt sick to be the cause of that look on Jensen's face. “Wait. I – This is just --”

Jensen waved him off. “No worries, Jared.” He turned and was at his rental car before Jared knew what happened.

  


* * *

In the morning, Jensen opted to ignore Misha's texts, even though one was titled _**read**_ _ **this**_ _ **now asshole**_ , in favor of a long hot shower. He stood under the hot spray letting it ease the tension out of his shoulders. Today was another day, he'd work things out with Jared later. Maybe he'd call Doctor Benedict for some advice.

He had just toweled off and pulled on some boxers when he thought he heard a noise. Misha could be texting again, or it could be something far worse. He grabbed the shampoo and his damp towel and opened the bathroom door. 

  


It was never too early for Jared to see his parents. “Hey, mom.”

Sherri took one look at her son and pulled him into a hug. “Jared, baby, what is it?”

“Jensen's back.”

“He is?! Did you see him?” She sounded excited about that news even though Jared looked awful. They sat at the kitchen table together, Sherri keeping his hand in hers.

He nodded. “We had dinner last night.”

“And? What happened?”

“And it took like ten seconds and I felt like I was falling for him again.”

Sherri waited for more but Jared didn't continue. “Jared, why is that a bad thing?”

“Because he's going to leave and break my heart and I don't know if I can go through that again.”

“Don't be silly, of course you can. You've got a big heart, Jared, and if Jensen breaks it, he'll fix it.”

He stared at her in disbelief. “Mom?”

“You really think Jensen would purposely hurt you?”

“No.”

“Was he acting like he didn't give a damn about you?”

“No.”

Her tone softened. “Do you really think he came home for a stupid high school reunion? Or do you think that _maybe_ it was an excuse to come back here to see you?” She watched him think it over. “How long is he staying?”

“I asked him when he was leaving and I think he got mad.”

His mother fixed him with a stern look. “You wait for ten years for him to come home and when he does, you want to know how soon he'll leave?” Sherri sighed, “And you were worried about _him_ hurting _you_. Jared, that boy has always cared about you. I think you were the only one that didn't see it.”

“So I'm just supposed to let my heart get broke again?”

Sherri squeezed his hand. “He won't break it.”

Jared's dad walked in, looking for another cup of coffee. “Hey, Jared, how's it going?”

“Jensen's home,” Sherri answered for him.

“He is?” Gerry looked around the kitchen. “Where is he?”

“He's at the hotel, Dad.”

“That's a stupid waste of money. You tell him he can stay here. He can have Jeff's old room.” He went back to stirring cream into his coffee.

“You guys really did like him best,” Jared said not quite sure if he was teasing.

“Jared, sweetie, go talk to him. It's about time you talked to him instead of me.”

  


* * *

Jensen wrapped some ice in a towel and held it to his cheek. It wasn't too bad. Hopefully the ice would keep it from bruising so he wouldn't have to make up some story next time he saw Jared. 

He hissed as he ran he free hand over his ribs. Not much he could do about that bruising, but no one would see it anyway.

He looked at the unconscious form of Mark Pellegrino duct taped to hotel chair and wondered what to do with him. If only Pellegrino had confessed to him why he was trying to kill him, but he passed out before he would answer. Remembering Misha's texts, Jensen realized one of them must have been a warning about his fellow hit-man’s arrival. He grabbed his phone. Misha would be worried if he didn't hear from Jensen soon.

“Hey, Misha.”

“Jensen. Thank god. Did you get out of there?”

“Not in time, but Pellegrino has been handled. Wish I had a clean up crew for this one.”

“Right, I bet you do. But you're out of there, right? You left town?”

“No, I didn't leave town, the reunion's not until Saturday.”

“DIDN'T YOU READ THE FUCKING TEXTS?!?”

“No. I figured I'd call and let you know I'm all right. Weren't the texts about Pellegrino? Did Sheppard send him or do I have to worry about --”

“Yes, you have to worry. Dammit Jensen, the texts were about the case, the job you gave to Sheppard. It's Jeff Padalecki.”

“The fuck?”

“Read the texts. I sent as much information as I could find. I'm sorry, man.”

Jensen became the professional. “It's fine. I'll stop Sheppard. I'm going to need supplies. We know anyone in the area?”

“No, but Pellegrino usually travels with an arsenal.”

“Right. Of course. Thanks, I'll call again soon. You should take down the office and get the hell out of Dodge.”

“The office is down, but I'm not going anywhere. You might need me.”

Jensen was stunned that Misha was willing to take such a risk for him. “Thanks, man.” 


	6. Chapter 6

Jensen dug through Pellegrino's pockets until he found the fob for a BMW. “Nice. Gotta handle better than my rental.”

Jensen sat on the bed and wondered what to do about the damage to the room and his unconscious room mate.

Just when things couldn't get worse, someone knocked on his door. “Fuck me,” he muttered looking around the room that would be impossible to straighten up. He winced as he pulled on a tee shirt. Checking the peep hole, he saw Jared about to knock again. He opened the door a crack and stood in a way he hoped blocked most of the room from Jared's view. “Hey, Jare, this is not really a good time. I'll catch up with you tomorrow.”

Stunned, Jared huffed, “Not a good --” but by then he had seen Jensen bruised face. “Jensen, what the hell happened?”

 _S_ _hit_. “Fell in the shower.” _Shit_

“Right, and maybe the door hit you.” Jared glared and began to push his way into the room. He took in the damage and Pellegrino and spun around. “Jensen. What the fuck?” 

“This isn't what it looks like.”

Jared did his best to look calm. He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the remains of the dresser. “This looks like you two destroyed the hotel room, and not in the fun party-like-a-rock-star kind of way. Or since you have a guy taped to a chair maybe you have some fetishes I'm not comfortable knowing about.”

Jensen looked from Jared to Pellegrino and back. A cruel retort was about to slide from his lips when he bit it off. “Either way, I've got to get out of here.”

“Are you in some kind of trouble? Is that why those guys were at the bar? Jensen, tell me what is going on. Maybe I can help.”

Rolling his eyes at Jared's concern, he complained, “I really don't have time for this, Jared.”

Jared moved to stand between Jensen and the door. “Make time.”

Jensen shouted in frustration, then collapsed onto the bed and mumbled, “You're killing me.” Jared remained immovable. “Fine,” Jensen groaned and sat up. “He's a hit man, like me. Sent here to kill me. Only I'm not like him. I have a moral compass. It may be slightly skewed, but it's still there.” If he was going to have to explain everything he was going to work at the same time. He held the ice pack to his face and began to pack. 

“You were joking, Jensen. People don't just grow up and become hit men!”

“Some of us do,” he said quietly. The fight had gone out of him. He couldn't look at Jared. “I retired. I'm out. I wanted to come home, see you. See if there was any way we could, or I could....” His voice faded out as his hope did.

“He was trying to kill you. Not the other way around?”

Jensen nodded.

“Who sent him? Why?”

“I'm not sure.” He surveyed the room and decided he needed to pack everything if he was leaving Pellegrino behind.

“Shit, Jen, look at his hands!” 

Jensen looked at the broken fingers he had given Pellegrino during 'interrogation'. “Yeah, trigger fingers, I had to.” 

Jared began to pale. “You're a psychopath.”

“No! Psychopaths kill for no reason. I kill for money,” Jensen tried to explain. “That, that came out wrong. I don't kill indiscriminately, Jared. If I'm sent to your door, chances are you did something to deserve it.”

Jared backed away, “No, Jensen you don't get to decide who lives or dies.”

“Dammit, I told you what I did. I told you to leave!” He pointed at the other professional killer. “This? Him? Not my fault. He was going to kill me. And, look, I didn't kill him. I just stopped him from coming after me.” 

Then, Jensen remembered the job. He remembered that it was his fault Sheppard was going to kill Jared's brother. “Come on. We've got to get out of here.”

Taking advantage of Jared's shock, Jensen grabbed the front of Jared's shirt as he brushed passed him. 

Jared followed him, just like Jensen knew he would. He pressed the key fob until he found the BMW. He checked the trunk and found a decent weapons stash. He placed the gun he took from Pellegrino in it's empty case and looked at the dazed Jared who mumbled, “That's a lot of guns. Wait, this isn't your car.”

“No, it's not, it was his, but he won't mind me borrowing it.” He took Jared by the arm and led him to the passenger door. “Jared, you can hate me all you want but I need you to listen to me. I have to get to Jeff. There's a contract out on him.”

Jared shoved Jensen, nearly knocking him down. “What?! No. I'm not telling you a damn thing about Jeff. I'm not letting you kill him.” 

Jensen groaned. “I'm retired! Someone else is going to kill him. Do you get that?! If I don't get to Jeff, someone else will, and they **will** kill him. If I don't stop them.”

There wasn't time for this. Jensen scrolled through his phone for Misha's text. He'd find Jeff on his own and stop Sheppard. To his surprise, Jared folded himself into the passenger seat.

“Does your brother have a panic room?” Jensen asked as he pulled out of the lot.

“No. Normal people don't have panic rooms, Jensen. Tell me why would anyone want Jeff dead?”

“He found a drug that was giving false results. He's giving a speech about it Monday.”

“I don't get it. Who wants him dead for that?”

“Drug companies spend millions developing new drugs, Jared. Jeff not only proved this one doesn't work like it should, but that it is harming people. Therefore costing the company millions more in lawsuits.”

“If you know these results doesn't everybody? I mean why kill Jeff?”

“It's his study. He's presenting it. Nobody knows the results except your brother and the editors of the journal it's going to be in, one of which must be on the board of the pharmaceutical company that put the contract on him. If Jeff doesn't present it at this medical conference Monday, no one is going to know about it. The study will be buried in some journal no one reads.”

“How did _you_ know, Jensen?”

“It was part of the file on him. I was offered the job.” He could feel the hate and disgust rolling off Jared. “I had already decided to quit. I got that damn invitation and realized ten years had slipped by and I wanted another chance.” He became quiet as he realized how completely he had destroyed that chance. “I passed on the job. But I know who took it and I know he was in town and I can stop him. Jared, he won't kill Jeff. I won't let him.”

Now on the expressway, Jensen pushed the tiny car to it's limit.

Jared was doing his best not to panic. “What about Liz and Jake, he's just a baby.”

“I'll stop it, Jared. I promise. Does their house have an alarm?”

“Yeah. Shouldn't I call him? Warn him that someone is trying to kill him.”

“No, Jeff might do something stupid and he'll put them in more danger.”

Jared's thumb had already scrolled to Jeff's number and it hovered there. “Jensen? What if everyone knows about the drug? W-would that save my brother?”

“I don't know. Maybe. Sheppard would know he wasn't getting paid and he's only in it for the money.”

Jared scrolled to the next Jeff on his phone and waited for the gravelly sound of his boss's bored growl. “This is Morgan.”

Jared tried to calm his nerves, but so much was riding on this call. “Jeff, I've got a mutherfuckin' exclusive that will blow your mind. You're gonna wanna get this on the A.P. wire and let the world know that your little station has the story that is going to bring down a major pharmaceutical company.”

Jeff Morgan was suddenly very interested. “J.T. if you're blowing sunshine up my ass I will reach through this phone and kick your ass.”

“More like kiss my ass. It's my brother's story, so you know you're exclusive.”

Awed by Jared's quick thinking, Jensen slowed the car to a normal speed. He handed him his phone. “Here, it's all on there. The second Misha text.”

“It wants a password.”

“071985” Jensen pretended not to be embarrassed that Jared's birthday was his password and he also pretended not to see Jared's astonished expression. He continued onto Jeff's as a precaution, but didn't think he would have to face Sheppard. 

  


* * *

They were a mile from Jeff's house when Jared finished and returned Jensen's phone. 

Jensen didn't want to make this call with Jared right there, but he had no choice.

“Ackles, this is a surprise.” Sheppard's voice oozed charm like a cobra. 

“Yes, I suppose it is. Pellegrino did his best, but I'm just that much better.”

“So I see. No hard feelings, mate. I just didn't like seeing you pissing in my territory.”

“I'm retired, Mark, I wasn't poaching the job. I still like to consider myself a professional, though, so I'd like to pass along some information as a courtesy.”

“And what would that be? That you're not going to let me kill your boyfriend's brother?”

His eyes cut to Jared involuntarily. “Although that is true, I have it on good authority that the makers of byphodine* are about to get some secrets exposed by the local news. Looks like there won't be money to vacation at your villa in Tuscany.”

“You're bluffing. Trying to win points with lover boy.”

“You know me better than that. I gave you this job. I'm just trying to do right by you and let you know you won't be paid.” Next to him Jared tapped his screen and held it for Jensen to see. “Check your news feed. It's over. In half an hour the whole world will know.”

The line went silent for a moment, then Sheppard growled, “Are you aware how much money you've cost me?”

“It's just money, Mark. There will always be another job.” The line was quiet and Jensen thought Sheppard was thinking it over.

“Yes, but not one that would destroy **you** as much as this one. And, well, I'm already here, Jensen.”

The silence that filled Jensen's head was deafening. 

  


* * *

After allowing himself a moment for regret, Jensen scrolled to Misha's text to check Jeff's address, threw the car into gear and called his partner. “Misha, I'm going to need you to get into Jeff's security system and give me everything he's got.” 

Jared, who had been basking in the glow of breaking what was sure to be the number one news story of the day – maybe the month, was forced to brace himself as Jensen began driving like he was competing in NASCAR. 

“Call Jeff. Tell him we're on our way and not to open the door to anyone else. Not deliveries, not reporters, not police, no one,” Jensen ordered. 

Jared did as he was told, but they arrived at Jeff's house before he finished the call. Before they left the car, Jensen grabbed Jared's arm and looked him in the eye. “I will not let anything happen to them. I promise.”

Jared nodded. He believed him, but how could this man with the caring eyes be the same man that nearly killed the guy in the hotel room?

Jensen grabbed one of his bags from the car's trunk and a two of the guns that had been left there. Seeing Jeff open the door to greet them, he barked, “Get inside.”

“Jensen?”

Jared was shoved inside along with his brother. “Where's your wife?”

No sooner did he ask, then did she appear holding a boy of nearly one in her arms. “Jared? What's going on?”

Jensen let Jared explain as he listened to Misha through his earpiece tell him about the layout of the house. “Are you in the system?”

“Yeah, system is unarmed and I've got the cameras online,” Misha replied. “The basement looks like the best place.” 

As he listened to Misha, Jensen filled a plastic grocery bag with water bottles and granola bars he found in the kitchen. Picking up a large blue bag, he turned to Jeff's wife and asked, “This a diaper bag? Does it have everything you need?” 

Before she could answer, Jeff spoke up. “This is insane. We'll call the police and --”

“No! No police,” Jensen commanded. “The patrol they send will be like sending lambs to a slaughter. The police will be called when they will actually be able to help. Now, Liz? It's Liz, right? I'm Jensen. I need you all to do exactly as I say and this will be over soon and no one will be hurt.”

“Jared's right. You are a psycho--”

Jensen cut him off. “Diaper bag? Is it good to go? Packed with supplies?”

“Yes,” Liz answered weakly.

Jensen looked around and shoved some bottles and crackers into the bag. “Come on. You're all going to the basement.” He shoved Jared towards the door leading to the basement and turned on the intercom system as he walked by. “Misha, the intercom is on. Does it interfere with the feeds at all?”

“No. What is the plan? Diversion?”

“Camouflage. Can't let them know about the baby.”

“Good call. It's still quiet, but I can't raise Sheppard on his phone.”

  


* * *

In the basement, Jensen could see that Liz's nerves were shaky at best. He did a quick scan of his surroundings before he turned from professional to friend. His eyes took on a warm and caring expression. “Look, I know this is terrifying and you know what? It might be completely unnecessary, but I promise I will keep you and the baby safe. No one will get to you.” 

Liz nodded and looked reasonably reassured.

Jeff still looked angry and Jared, well Jensen couldn't look at him. He couldn't afford to feel anything right then. 

He tapped his earpiece. “Misha said there's a workroom or office down here.”

“Over here,” Liz answered, leading the way.

“Why are we even listening to you?” Jeff demanded. “Even Jared thinks you're crazy. Why would anyone want me dead?”

Jensen took a second to develop his argument. “Jared can explain why someone wanted you dead once you're safely in that room. But, what's happening now is my fault. A man wants to kill you because of how much it would hurt me.”

Once in the room, Jensen addressed them. “Do not open this door under any circumstance, no matter what you hear. When it's safe, **I** will come get you. I will give the ol' shave and a haircut knock and say 'Brad Wexler is an asshole'. Have any of you used a gun before?”

The Padalecki brothers said no, but Liz nodded. “I used to trap shoot with my dad.”

Jensen smiled and opened a small case to show her a small hand gun. “This is a semi-automatic. Safety's on and it's loaded. Holds seven rounds, extra magazine here.” He pointed to the case. Before Jeff could interrupt, Jensen continued, “If anyone tries to open that door without saying the Brad Wexler line, shoot right here.” He pointed at the wall next to the door. “And I mean unload. Do not hold back.”

He looked at the little boy in her arms and had to swallow the guilt he felt over asking her to do that.

“Jeff, where's your stereo? I need music. Preferably loud guitar music.”

Jeff groused, “You want a sound track to your killing spree?”

“I want camouflage in case the baby cries.”

“We have Sirius radio hooked up to the Bose system. It can be heard throughout the house,” Liz answered in fake calmness.

“Thank you. I --”

“Jensen,” Misha cut in, “cable TV truck just pulled in.”

Jensen looked at Liz. “You guys having trouble with your cable?”

“We have satellite,” Jeff answered quietly. Suddenly, the three 'civilians' believed the seriousness of the situation as they watched Jensen school his features, once again, into the professional hit-man.

  


* * *

Liz handed the baby to her husband and began to pace. “Calm down, Lizzie. Everything's going to be all right,” Jeff whispered calmly.

“How can you say that?” she hissed back. “Our lives are in the hands of a psychopath.”

They could hear furniture being moved above them.

“I'm so sorry,” Jared said. “I didn't know what to do. His story about the drug company seemed so believable. Jensen had files on his phone with information about the drug and your study and I called my boss and gave him the whole story. Fuck! Now I'm letting us be held prisoner by a nut job with a gun. I never expected Jensen to be so screwed up. He didn't seem crazy at dinner”

They heard the music turn on above them. 

Jeff nodded. “Maybe something happened to him when he was in the army.”

“Yeah,” Jared agreed. “He told me he was in special forces and – I guess that could be a lie.”

Suddenly, Jared's phone buzzed a text. _Shut up asshole. Jensen can hear you through the intercom feed to his earpiece. You can insult him all you want after he saves your asses and gets everyone out of there alive. He doesn't need your bullshit right now._

A second later Misha sent Jared another text. This one said _do some quiet reading, ingrate_ and had a link to an article in _Stars and Stripes_ showing Jensen being awarded the Medal of Honor. He showed it to Jeff and Liz, knowing it would relieve their fears. It also made Jared feel awful for doubting Jensen.

From above, there was the sound of breaking glass, a loud crash, and the thud of heavy footsteps, but not much else could be heard over Aerosmith's _Sweet Emotion_.

Next, they heard something or someone being dragged across the floor above them. There seemed to be no movement for a moment and Jared was about to crawl out of his skin. “Maybe we should see what happened,” he whispered to Jeff.

“No, are you crazy? No. We stay here like he said. His partner will tell us if something happened to Jensen or it's safe to leave,” Jeff whispered back.

Above them was the sound of running footsteps. First one set, then more. _Barracuda_ was screaming from the speakers, but it wasn't enough to drown out the unmistakable sounds of gunshots.

Liz sat on the floor rocking Jake in her arms. All of her hopes for her child were in the hands of a man who was either a hero or a psychopath, but no matter what, he was out numbered.

Jeff recognized his wife's expression and sat behind her, wrapping himself around her and his child. Jared sunk against the other wall praying that Misha would contact him again soon. Their anxiety doubled when the music stopped and the house became eerily quiet. 

Then over the intercom they heard a quiet curse and the sound of glass breaking and another curse. Finally, they heard Jensen call to them through the speaker. “Hey, Padaleckis, it's over, but you should stay put. The police are on their way and they'll get you out. Avoid the kitchen, if you can.”

Jeff nearly had to tackle Jared to get him to stay, but he convinced him not to leave the room by reminding him that the police might think he was part of melee.

  


* * *

Jensen could hear the police sirens as he slumped against the wall in exhaustion. Every injury, every bruise began to make itself known as the adrenalin drained from his body. But more that all the other pains was the overwhelming ache he felt for Jared. He'd been so close to getting everything he wanted. But, Jared's afraid of him now. He knows Jared will want to stay 'friends' and he knows he'll agree to it, and they both know he'd be lying. He'll run the first chance he gets. In fact, he's going to leave right now. He just needs to rest a minute, then he'll go.

  


Agents Henrickson and Reidy entered the house with guns drawn and the local police as back-up. Henrickson saw Jensen collapsed against the wall and rushed over to check for a pulse. “He's got a pulse. Call for the medics.”

Agent Reidy found the others piled together in the pantry. “Hey,” he called to his partner in shock. “They're alive. They're all alive.” He waved the police officers over to handcuff them and help get them out of the pantry.

Henrickson patted Jensen's cheek. “Ackles, Ackles! Come on, man. Wakey wakey.”

Jensen blinked open his eyes. “They're in the basement. Tell 'em your coming or she'll shoot.” He managed to point to the intercom and Henrickson understood. “Tell 'em I didn't kill any of them. Tell 'em,” he slurred, feeling more and more like he was slipping under water.

The paramedics arrived to care for Jensen and the agents went to the basement to get the Padaleckis from the make shift panic room.

  
  


Since they had been safely away in the basement, they couldn't offer the authorities much information. Jeff and Liz took in the damage to their house and Liz felt like crying. “Hey,” Jeff whispered to calm her. “Things can be replaced. People can't. We're fine.” 

Jared's nerves were completely gone. Jensen was no where to be seen and Jared was going out of his mind. 

Seeing the guy's anguish, Agent Henrickson took pity on him. “Hey, Jared, your boyfriend's outside getting checked out by the paramedics, if you want to see him.”

  


Jared rushed outside still in a panic until his eyes landed on Jensen sitting on the back of the med rig. His arm was bandaged, there was a butterfly suture by his eyebrow and his clothes were ruined, but to Jared he was beautiful. He was alive and that's all that mattered. 

Feeling very unsure of himself, Jared hesitated before walking over to him. The paramedic held up a hand to stop him, but Jared answered by saying, “It's okay. I'm his boyfriend.”

Jensen looked up at him with eyes wide in disbelief. He looked as afraid as Jared had felt while trapped in the basement.

“Oh, then maybe you can talk him into coming to the hospital with us,” the medic suggested as he stepped away to give them a moment of privacy.

“Boyfriend?” Jensen accidentally asked aloud, still staring at him with his unbelievably wide eyes.

“You should go to the hospital.”

Jensen hung his head. Jared was dismissing him again and the boyfriend comment had been a cover. 

Jared moved closer and tenderly placed a hand on Jensen's battered cheek lifting his face to look him in the eye. “I have to make sure you're okay.”

“I'm fine,” Jensen said quietly trying not to meet Jared's eyes.

“I'll go with you. Or I'll take you, if you want.”

Before Jensen could answer, Agent Henrickson approached them. “Nice work in there, Ackles. I couldn't help but notice that Sheppard wasn't among your duct taped collection.”

Jared looked around as the agent spoke. “Cable truck.”

“What?”

“Where's the cable truck? Sheppard's people had arrived in a cable company truck,” Jared replied.

Agent Henrickson was instantly on his radio instructing his team to stop every cable truck in the area. He nodded his thanks to Jared and then addressed Jensen again. “If we have any more questions, we'll catch up with you at the hospital.”

Jensen waited for the agent to leave before turning to Jared. “You can go now Jared, I'll be fine.” He winced as he made himself stand.

Jared gently grabbed his arm to steady him. “Where? In back here or do you want to take the car? I'm not leaving you, Jensen, and you still might need a doctor.” 

“Car,” Jensen said quietly. He wasn't ready to think about the rest of what Jared had said.

  


* * *

Jensen seemed to fall asleep on the ride back to town, but it was his way of avoiding talking to Jared. He could face insurgents and paid assassins, but the guy who held his heart in his hands terrified him. He had heard Jared's doubts from the basement and he couldn't reconcile them with his current actions. If Jared thought he was a psychopath, why was he with him?

Upon arriving at the hotel, Jared gently ran a hand down Jensen's shoulder to wake him. “We're here.”

Opening his eyes, Jensen saw they were at the hotel instead of the hospital. He remembered leaving his room a disaster and said, “Shit, I can't stay here.”

“You're not. We're just picking up my truck,” Jared answered, grabbing Jensen's bag from the back seat. 

Jensen allowed Jared to steer him to the other vehicle. Once on their way, Jensen said, “You can drop me at the hotel up on Riverdale.”

“I don't think so.”

“Jare, I don't need a hospital.”

“I'm not taking you to one. But I am giving you two choices. You can stay with me or you can stay with my folks and let my mom fuss over you.” Jared enjoyed the small look of panic that statement earned him.

“Do you think your mom will bake for me? I remember she used to make a great apple pie.”

Jared rolled his eyes. “Asshole.”

Jensen huffed a small laugh, which made him wince.

  


Jared was nervous as he led Jensen into his house, but mostly he just wanted a chance to start over. “Make yourself at home. I've got to call work,” Jared called over his shoulder after he set down Jensen's bags.

Jensen hadn't taken a step passed the entry, causing Jared to turn around and see if he was all right. “Jen?”

“You know this isn't real, right?”

Jared's brows knit in confusion. “What?”

“What you're feeling isn't real. What you felt last night” _when you pushed me away_ " **that** was real. This? What you're feeling now, is the high from what happened at Jeff's. It's not how you really feel.”

Jared wanted to laugh, but Jensen looked too destroyed for that. “Last night. When last night? Over dinner when I felt I was falling in love with you again? Or later when we kissed and I felt like fucking you into next week? Or do you mean how I felt when I was terrified you were going to break my heart by leaving?”

He didn't let Jensen respond. “Right now isn't about what I 'feel', it's about what I know. I love you. But even more than that, I know you love me.” He gave Jensen an encouraging smile. “You quit your high paying – though totally crappy and dangerous – job for **me**. And today, you had to go and do that crappy, dangerous job for _free_ because my family needed you to.” Jared waited for a response, but Jensen seemed speechless. “I don't know why I thought you'd break my heart, because Mom was right, you'd never hurt me.”

Jensen's mouth opened and closed as words failed him. Jared loved him. He felt himself begin to smile and knew he needed to see Jared's smile. “I'm sorry did you say something after 'fucking me into next week'?” He was instantly rewarded with loud laughter and dimples.

“Asshole.”

“You love me,” Jensen joked as a reflex

“Yes, I do.”

Jared moved into Jensen's space, put his hands on his hips, gently pushed him back into the wall and kissed him soundly.

When Jensen's head hit the wall, he whimpered. 

Jared gave him a look of concern.

“Sorry, head's a bit bruised.”

“I'm sorry, I'll be more careful,” Jared murmured into his neck as his hands ran down Jensen's side. This unfortunately caused him to hiss in pain. Jared leaned back in frustration. “Is there anywhere you don't hurt?

Jensen's eyes darkened and he smirked sinfully, “Now, you're making it too easy.”

A playful smile formed on Jared's face, as his fingers worked at unfastening Jensen's jeans. “We deserve some easy,” he said as he got to his knees and slipped his hand around Jensen's hardening dick.

He took as much as he could in his mouth and worked the rest with his hand. His other hand rested on Jensen's thigh, soothing the trembling muscles. He set up a rhythm, bobbing his head and hollowing his cheeks, his fist chasing after his mouth as Jensen became increasingly harder. 

Above him, Jensen was nearly incoherent. His lips were partly open around breathy little whimpers and moans, his gaze never once wavered from Jared's face. “Jare, Jared, christ, Jared, I'm gonna --” Jared took the warning to suck him down farther and was rewarded with Jensen coming immediately.

Jared gently tucked Jensen back into his jeans and stood. “So this is my front hall,” Jared said with a welcoming wave of his hand.

“Love what you've done with it,” Jensen managed, feeling completely blissed out.

Jared chuckled, “Wait until you see the rest of the place.”

 

epilogue

Late Saturday afternoon, Jared watched Jensen doze on his couch. He was admiring the play of light on his hair and his freckles and he couldn't help the smile the crossed his face. 

As if he knew he was being watched, Jensen opened his eyes. “Hey, sorry, didn't mean to fall asleep on you.”

Jared lightly dragged a finger over Jensen's check. “It's fine. I don't mind. You must need the rest.” 

Jensen sat up straighter. “No, I'm good.” He looked at the television. “Did we win?”

Jared nodded. “Yeah, 35 to 24.”

“Cool.” He grabbed the front of Jared's shirt and tugged him into a kiss. 

“We keep this up, I don't think we're going to make it to the reunion,” Jared said.

“You and I have ten years to catch up on. I don't need anyone else. Besides, All that work of getting you out of a suit, I'm exhausted just thinking about it.”

Jared grinned, “Staying in and having sex? I am so okay with that.”

the end


End file.
